


Marry Me

by Jinkisducklings



Category: SHINee
Genre: Childhood Friends, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-09-25 04:27:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 33,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20370670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jinkisducklings/pseuds/Jinkisducklings
Summary: Taemin is four when he first proposes to Jinki with a ring pop all because he was told he should marry his best friend.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my entry for prompt #59, with childhood proposals and it coming full circle once they're adults. I do hope you enjoy it and I apologize for how long it's taken to post <3

_ September 1993 _

The grass beneath the small boy sitting in the front yard was soft and lush green. A few paces toward the house was a large flower garden his Ma worked really hard on almost every evening and there was an oak tree near the sidewalk inside of the white picket fence around the yard. There was a loud rumble coming down the street that caused him to look up from his stuffed bear and toy airplane. The truck was white with big blue letters down the side that he couldn’t read just yet. It slowed down enough and pulled into the driveway next door. Curiously he turned his head to where his Mom was sitting on the porch swing reading. “Why’s there a truck, Mom?” 

Her long brown hair shifted as she lifted her head, smiling sweetly as she found her son before glancing over at the truck. “It seems we have new neighbors, Jinki.” 

“Like Miss Pam?” 

“Maybe. It could very well be a family.” She closed her book softly, placing it on the table beside her before gracefully taking the four steps down from the large front porch. She kneeled in the grass beside him, smiling brightly when he handed over his bear for her to play with. “Wouldn’t you like having another kid to play with?”

“Kids take toys.” He grumbled, remembering the other children at pre-school who would take his things and he’d have to run behind and gather them once they grew tired of them. 

“Sometimes people take things without permission, but you just have to stand up for yourself Baby.” She ran her long fingers through his mop of hair, leaning close to press a kiss on top of it before she quietly asked, “Do you want to go meet them? It looks like the owners just pulled up.” 

He followed her arm, a little distracted with the way the blue fabric of her shirt fluttered in the wind, before finding the car that had pulled up along the curb directly in front of their own house. There was a very tall man standing outside the car and a bundle wrapped tightly against his chest that Jinki couldn’t recognize. “Carry me?”

He looked up at her with big eyes and sweet smile, holding his arms up a little. She sighed quietly as she stood, quickly scooping him up and swinging him around to her hip. With a huff, she settled him. “You’re getting way too big for this, Baby.” 

He laid his head on her shoulder and curled his fingers in the soft fabric of her shirt, mumbling as she walked across their lawn towards the fence and the man. “No.” 

\-----

“Shh Taemin, no need to wake up Sweetie.” He quietly cooed at his infant son wrapped against his chest. He was only a few months old, chubby cheeks squished and little lips parted as his face scrunched as he shifted. He shut the door and fished the keys out of his pocket to lock it. As he began to walk down the sidewalk to his own driveway he heard a soft voice to his right.

“Hello! Are you moving in?” 

Standing there was a young woman, her long hair gathered over one shoulder. In her arms was a toddler with dark hair, shyly trying to hide in the woman’s neck. “I am. I’m Jaeho Lee. This is my son Taemin.”

“I’m Chanri Lee and this is Jinki and we just wanted to welcome you into the neighborhood.” Her smile was warm and bright, eyes crinkling a little as she jostled the toddler, Jinki he remembered, to adjust him on her hip. “If you need anything feel free to come and ask. I or my wife Hyejoo would be happy to help you.” 

His fear of not being accepted in this neighborhood for being bisexual and possibly bringing home another man lessened a little learning one of his next-door neighbors were a pair of lesbians with a son. “Thank you. I might take you up on that.” 

The boy in her arms pushed up, little hand cupping in front of her ear as he leaned in to whisper to her. Whatever he said caused her to quietly laugh. He rose his eyebrows when Chanri looked at him. “That wasn’t very nice Baby.” 

“What did he say, if you don’t mind me asking?”

She pressed her plump lips together into a thin line before quietly saying, “He called your son a tater tot.”

Jinki’s little brows were furrowed as he whined. “Mommy! That was a secret!”

“I’m sorry Baby.”

“It’s alright Little Jinki. He does kind of look like a tater tot.” As he spoke a small smile appeared on the boy’s face. 

“Now I think Mr. Lee needs to get back to moving in. What do we say, Jinki?” 

“Bye-bye Mr. lee!” 

“Bye-bye Jinki.” He smiled warmly, “And you too Chanri.” 

“Welcome to the neighborhood.” As the woman turned to walk back up her yard, Jinki was waving his little hand over his mom’s shoulder. 

\-----

Jinki glanced up from his spot on the fluffy carpet in front of the unlit fireplace when he heard the doorbell ring. His mothers had told him many times to never open the door for anyone, but as the ringing continued and neither one of them appeared in the archway, his curiosity got the better of him. After dropping the two red blocks in his hands, and climbing up the couch using the small step stool placed on the far end just for him, he pushed the white, lace-trimmed curtains behind it to peer out between the blinds. The old couch was easier to climb, but the new one brought into the house recently gave him issues gripping anything to climb. His mommies had told him he would grow big enough to climb it soon, but that being small for his age was alright too. Standing there holding open their glass screen door was Mr. Lee from next door. It was then he noticed the wailing coming from the same area.

Scrunching his nose he slipped from the couch and stood at the base of the steps on the circular rug just to the left of the front door, careful with his steps because he learned very quickly socks are slippery on his Ma’s shiny floors. “Ma! Mom!”

As quick as he had finished calling them his Ma was turning the corner down the hallway in front of him, eyes wide and light hair falling from the small ponytail she had attempted to keep it in. A moment later his Mom was quickly taking the steps, worry etched into her pretty features. A chorus of Baby and Sweetie bombarded him. Jinki huffed as he pointed toward the little window on the front door. “Mr. Lee is here. ‘m Fine.” 

He was scooped up quickly by his Mom as his Ma stepped forward to answer the door. Mr. Lee’s face was just as red as the tater tot in his arms. He looked almost as if he was going to cry. “I apologize for just abruptly coming over but Chanri offered help if I needed it and-”

His Mom shifted him on her hip as she stepped a little closer. “What’s the matter?” 

“He hasn’t stopped crying since he woke up from his nap and I don’t know what’s wrong. I’ve changed his diaper and attempted to feed him. I thought maybe you’d know since,” Jinki hid his face into his Mom’s neck when the attention turned to him for a moment. 

The soft melody of his Ma’s voice made him peek from his Mom’s neck. “Let me see him.” As the tater tot was passed over his Ma hissed quietly. “He’s burning up. Babe, can you get the thermometer?” 

Before Jinki knew it he was being placed on the ground once again and being gently pushed with a warm hand toward the living room. “Go play with your blocks, Baby.” 

“But Mom-”

She ran her neatly trimmed nails through his hair, kneeling quickly. “Ma and I need to help Mr. Lee. Taemin is sick. We have what he needs to get better.”

“Get better kisses are mine.” He crossed his arms, pouting deeply as he scowled up at the adults in the room.

“They are.” She kissed his chubby cheek before smiling. “Go on. Give me a few minutes and I’ll have your snack.” 

“Celery and peanut butter, please!” 

\------

As Jinki munched on his celery stick his Ma had dipped in his cup of peanut butter for him, he glanced through the mesh of the playpen curiously. He turned to the group of adults sitting around the sectional and quietly asked, “Did you find the off button?” 

“We did Baby.” His Mom reached over to gently wipe his cheek, “Try to get the peanut butter in your mouth Sweetie.” 

“It’s messy.” Once he was finished with his last celery stick he stood in front of his Mom to be cleaned off softly with the wipe, shaking and twisting from her grip when she wasn’t done quickly enough. He still thought Taemin looked like a tater tot as he passed him to get to his dollhouse against the far wall, but he supposed he was alright now that he wasn’t being loud. The off button seemed very hard to find so he hoped he didn’t turn on any time soon. 

\------

Chanri was gazing at her son across the room when Jaeho spoke to her left. She sipped her cup of tea and smiled over the rim as it was lowered. “Your son is very adorable.”

Hyejoo grinned almost proudly, voice soft as she brought her legs up from the floor, bunny slippers falling from them as she lifted her limbs. “He’s our little booger alright.” 

“He likes to use how cute he is to his advantage.” Chanri chuckled lightly as she recalled, “He’s starting to master the Puppy eyes and learning who to ask for what. Apparently, I’m the one to go to if he wants a cookie before dinner.” 

“And I’m the one to ask to push back nap time.” Hyejoo reached over without looking to intertwine their fingers, both looking over at Jaeho curiously. They had seen him in passing the last month or so as the leaves on the trees began to fall and temperatures began to plummet, but neither knew much about him. “I’m guessing he’s your first?” 

A pink rouge colored his cheeks as he looked down for a moment before catching her gaze. “That obvious?” 

With a little laugh, Chanri nodded and softly placing her cup on the table by stretching to push the tiny saucer with a few of her fingers. “You had that panicked parent look about you.”

“I only found out I was a father when I opened my front door on July 20th, two days after he was born. He had a birth certificate and a letter pushed into the side of the basket, but that was it. I wasn’t with his mother and getting sprung with a baby caused my boyfriend at the time to leave me. Apparently, he wasn’t ready to be a father without warning.”

“Either were you,” Hyejoo commented quietly, smiling when he focused on her. 

“Thank you again for everything. You handled your new neighbor almost sobbing on your porch with astounding grace.” 

“While not the same, we understand that having a child is difficult and sometimes you need help. I had my wife. You have us. Babysitting, tips, just to vent about a throwing up toddler at three in the morning,” Chanri cracked a smile as he laughed. “I hope Jinki learns to call him anything other than tater tot.” 

“I don’t know, I kind of like it.” Jaeho smiled, fingers tapping on the outside of his own mug in his lap. “Like Taemin, without the min. Taeter tot.” 

Both women snorted, but it was Hyejoo who spoke. “I don’t think he’s thought that through.” 

\------

With how well Taemin was sleeping, Hyejoo asked Jaeho if he wished to stay for dinner, which he happily agreed. Jinki was very happy with his chicken his Ma cut up for him, even if he spent most of the meal staring at the adults at the table curious and missing his mouth the first few times he lifted his fork up. Just as the food was about to be done a wail pierced the air and Jinki dramatically sighed. “Be quiet.”

Both of his mothers whipped their heads toward him, scolding on their lips, but it was his Ma who spoke. “Jinki, that’s rude.” 

“Shut up is rude. You say be quiet all the time.” He frowned down at his sippy cup, realizing he was out of juice. “More juice please.” He wasn’t sure who got up to get him more, but when it was handed back to him he still mumbled, “Thankie.” 

He squinted over his sippy cup, trying to figure out why it was so hard for Mr. Lee to find the off button. His Ma seemed to find it alright enough and it couldn’t be more difficult than the TV remote. Eventually, the tater tot stopped wailing, and Mr. Lee sighed in relief. “That’s it Taemin.” 

“Find the off button, Mr. Lee?” 

The man lifted his gaze from the baby in his arms which he was feeding with a bottle to smile warmly at Jinki. “I did indeed.” 

Through her chuckles, his Ma softly commented, “It’s almost time to find your off button, Sweetie.” 

“But!”

“No buts Baby.” Before he could protest further he was being tugged from his chair. “Will you help me clean up your toys?” 

“Can I keep my juice?” He asked as he lifted his right hand still gripping his cup of apple juice.

“Yes.” He rubbed at his eye, yawning slightly and smacking his mouth as he squinted out at the living room. As he was set down in the middle his Mom quietly reminded him, “The quicker we clean the quicker we can go play in the bath.” 

“Bubbles?” 

“Maybe. If you’re very fast.” 

He shoved his sippy cup into her hand with a serious expression. “Please hold Mom.” 

It was barely in her grip before he was moving to pick up his blocks to put them into the bin next to his dollhouse. 

\----

Jinki sat in his Mom’s lap on his bed, playing with the pages of the book he had chosen off his shelf as she brushed his hair. “Mommy?” 

The brush stopped moving across his head as she asked, “Yes, Baby?”

“Is the tater tot coming again?”

“He might. You might go over to Mr. Lee’s as well.”

“Why? He has trouble finding off buttons.” 

His Mom’s arms wrapped around him softly, tugging him back into a hug and a kiss was pressed to his hair with a little chuckle. “You know how Grandma comes over on Wednesdays?”

Jinki turned his head a little to look at her then. “You go on mommies dates.” 

“That’s right.” She paused when the door to his room opened to show her wife, before swaying a little with Jinki still in her embrace. “Sometimes Grandma can’t make it and Mr. Lee has offered to watch you when we have our mommy dates.” 

“But Grandma brings me cookies.” 

“Jinki, you like Grandma coming over for more than what she gives you, right?” His Ma had come over to pick the book up that had slid from his hands, voice light and teasing.

He wiggled away from his Mom, climbing over her thigh over onto the rest of the bed, annoyed with the amount of affection he was getting. Falling back into his pillows he beamed up at his mothers. “Storytime?” 

His mothers shared a soft look before his Ma sat on the other side of the bed, back against the pillows with Jinki to her right, and the book placed on her thigh. “You first?”

“Yes Please.” 

\-----

About a month later Jinki found himself standing on Mr. Lee’s porch, hiding behind his Ma’s legs clutching the small dinosaur backpack his Mom had helped him pack that afternoon after picking him up from preschool. The door opened slowly and Jinki could see Mr. Lee from the one eye peeking around his Mom. The man kneeled with a sweet smile. “Hey, Little Jinki. You ready to hang out with me?”

Jinki looked up at his mothers, taking another step behind his Mom in response. A hand reached down to ruffle his hair as his Ma spoke, “Come on Sweetie. You’ll have a great time. Mr. Lee has lots of books.”

He lowered his backpack a little and quietly asked, “Books?”

Mr. Lee was still smiling as he nodded, “So many. Have you ever read a comic book?”

“Does it have pictures?”

Jinki found that he rather liked Mr. Lee’s laugh. It reminded him of the dads in the movies his Ma really liked watching. “It’s all pictures, Little Jinki.” 

“Alright.” Slowly he stepped around his Mom and held out his hand for Mr. Lee to take. As he hopped up the step into the house, he turned to his mothers. “Be good.” 

He was sure he heard them start to laugh after he was given a kiss on each cheek, but then he was focusing on the way Mr. Lee said he had snacks for him. Jinki liked snacks a whole lot.

\-----

After dinner Jinki was taken up to the room Mr. Lee kept all of his books. He had never seen so many shelves and books other than the library he was taken to. Near the big window was a spot to sit and as Mr. Lee turned to get a comic book Jinki climbed up onto the thick cushions, plopping back and bringing a pillow over his legs. “Do you like superheroes?”

“Like Wonder Woman?”

“Yes. How do you know her?”

“My mommies really like her. Said Superman was over something.” 

Mr. Lee’s laughter was muffled with how he was kneeling with his back toward Jinki, but soon he was lifting from the drawer and walking over. The Tater tot had been put down for a nap shortly before dinner, which meant Mr. Lee’s attention was all his. “Overrated?”

“Yeah!” As Mr. Lee sat beside him Jinki’s enthusiasm decreased, softly asking, “What’s that mean, Mr. Lee?” 

“Overrated means something is given more worth than it deserves.” 

It was then Jinki noticed the comic book in Mr. Lee’s hands. “Whoa, is it really all pictures?” 

He quickly flipped through it to show Jinki the pages with a fond smile. “All pictures. With words, but mostly pictures.”

“I like pictures.” 

“Take a look,” Jinki was surprisingly gentle with it, but he was still reminded, “Just be careful. The pages are delicate.” 

“Okay got it. Gentle, like with animals.” Then the walkie talkie looking device began to scream and Jinki jumped a little in his spot. “I think your machine is broken, Mr. Lee.” 

“That would be Taemin. I'll be right back Jinki.”

Once Mr. Lee was through the door Jinki flipped open the comic book in his hands, softly grumbling. “Tater tots are very loud.” 

\------

When it was time for Jinki to go home only his Ma came over to pick him up. She found him curled up on the recliner, thumb in his mouth and eyes fighting to stay open. Hyejoo smiled as she walked into the living room. “It seems you knocked him out.”

Jaeho leaned against the archway, arms across his chest as he watched her walk over to her son. “We had fun.” 

Hyejoo kneeled, running her hand over Jinki’s hair, laughing slightly as he smiled around his thumb at the sight of her. “Hey, Sweetie. Did you have fun with Mr. Lee?” 

“Mm, much fun.” It was a little muffled with his thumb still in his mouth, but as he was picked up and nuzzled into Hyejoo’s shoulder, his hand lowered. His eyes were half-open as he softly said, “Mr. Lee got better finding off buttons. I’m proud.” 

Jaeho snorted, “I’m happy you approve.” 

“Goodnight Mr. Lee. I had fun.” 

“Glad to hear it Little Jinki.” 

Jinki was already asleep before Hyejoo even made it to the door, but she quietly gave her thanks as Jaeho handed her the dinosaur backpack. 

\------

_ August 1995 _

As of late, Mr. Lee had dropped off Taemin at least three days a week and no matter what Jinki did the two-year-old wouldn’t leave him alone. He didn't mind playing with him, not really, but he was used to being an only child in most senses of the word. Having a younger boy following him around was a lot more like having a sibling that he was willing to admit he liked. Taemin liked to move his things to play with and just leave them on the floor in random places. It took Jinki so much time to find his toys when they weren’t in his toy box or where he left them.

Currently, Taemin’s favorite pastime was knocking over Jinki’s dominos before he was ready for them to be. When Mr. Lee had dropped him off, Jinki had already been sitting at the coffee table on his knees setting up the little domino blocks in a line carefully. Working from the middle and swirling them out as it got bigger and bigger. “Taemin do you want to knock it over?”

The little boy looked over the display with big eyes, chubby fingers splayed on the edge of the table. “Go boom?” 

“Yeah. Just knock this one over.” Jinki pointed to the last domino and smiled when Taemin began to reach over to inspect what he was referring to. “Yes, just push it over.” 

Except for right when it looked like he was going to follow instructions he turned with the biggest smile on his face and smashed his arms against the middle of the design, scattering them all over the table and the floor. Jinki thought about all the times his mommies told him to be nice and use his inside voice as he moved to collect the dominos that had tumbled under the couch and table. When Taemin began to knock them over each time he got a few in a line, it was getting harder and harder to be nice about it. “I’m not finished yet Taeter. Let me finish.” 

“Smash!” He happily giggled. “Go boom.” 

Jinki collected what dominos he could throw into the box quickly and pushed off the ground to go sit at the dining room table. He felt the frustration building and he was removing himself from the situation like his Mom told him to do when something was bothering him too much. His Ma was in the kitchen just to the right of him starting to make lunch and she smiled sweetly at him when she heard him padding into the room. “Everything okay, Sweetie?”

“Taemin keeps knocking down my dominos.”

“You loved knocking things over when you were his age.” 

“I guess. It still makes me mad.” He figured it was high enough Taemin wouldn’t follow him but then he saw the chair to the left of him moving. Trying his hardest, the two-year-old was able to pull himself up onto the chair, smacking his hands onto the table causing the few dominos already stood up to fall over. Just as quickly as they fell, his anger lashed out and his voice rose. “I wasn’t finished! Stop touching them you waddling potato!” 

It was like the house stopped moving. Taemin’s bottom lip was quivering, nose beginning to sniffle, as time moved slowly before he let out a wail. Jinki fussed with him, trying to get him to stop crying, but it was useless as his Ma put her knife down and rushed over to scoop Taemin up. She was glaring down at Jinki as she patted the back of Taemin’s head. “You shouldn’t yell, Jinki.”

“He kept messing it all up!”

“He doesn’t know any better. You do.” She sighed as she bounced Taemin lightly. “You have to apologize.”

“No.”

Hyejoo blinked down at him, “Excuse me?”

Jinki crossed his arms, lifting his chin to look up at her. “I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I don’t remember asking you what you thought. You yelled at Taemin for playing in the only way he knows. You know we don’t yell in this house out of anger.” She carefully sat in the chair Taemin had been in, setting him on her thigh. “Now apologize to him. And mean it.” 

“I’m sorry.” He grumbled out, arms crossed over his chest and gaze off to the right toward the dominos on the table.

“Jinki Lee.” His Ma warned sternly.

“Fine.” Jinki sighed, “I’m sorry I yelled at you Taemin.”

Taemin rubbed at his eye with a tiny fist, nose still sniffling, but his crying was starting to dwindle. Hyejoo grinned before letting Taemin onto the ground and ruffling Jinki’s hair as she walked back. “That’s better. Play nice. You have to remember he’s learning how to human right now.” 

Jinki flicked his eyes from the scattered dominos to Taemin before sighing. When he spoke again he smiled, “Do you want to hear a story?”

“Book?” 

“Yeah.”

“Yes.”

Jinki took his offered hand and grinned when he heard his Ma call out after him from the kitchen as they took the steps to his room. “You need to clean these up, Jinki!” 

“I will Ma!” He barely finished yelling back down before Taemin was running toward his bed causing him to rush after to make sure the toddler didn’t hurt himself climbing up onto his big boy bed. “Wait up Taeter.” 

\------

Jaeho followed Hyejoo up the stairs and to the right of the landing toward the half ajar bedroom door labeled with foam letters as Jinki’s. As she pushed open the door all the way, their sons were seen sprawled out over Jinki’s bed. Taemin was curled up using Jinki’s tummy as a pillow and hugging the stuffed dinosaur the older boy had given him a few months ago. Both were fast asleep, cheeks squished and soft snores filling the room. Hyejoo looked over as Jaeho came further into the room, whispering to make sure the boys didn’t wake up. “He can sleep over if you don’t want to wake him up.” 

“No, no he’s been here far too long as it is.” He walked around the bed and pushed his arms under Taemin. Everything was still and serene until Taemin began to wake up. A wail pierced the serenity of the bedroom and no matter what Jaeho did, the toddler would not quiet down. “Taemin, please. You’ll wake up Jinki.”

“Too late,” Jinki mumbled, rubbing his left eye with his knuckle as he pushed himself up with the other hand. “What’s wrong with Taeter?” 

“Jinnie,” Taemin whined, hands reaching out with wiggling fingers toward the boy on the bed still half asleep. 

Jaeho looked over when Hyejoo laid her hand on his arm. She smiled as she gestured toward the bed. “Humor me. Put him back.” 

Once Taemin was back on the bed, he rubbed at his eyes for a moment before realizing where he was and scrambled up toward Jinki by the pillows. He had his dinosaur in one arm and tugging Jinki back down between hiccups. It was then Jinki lifted his gaze back to the two adults and asked, “Can he sleepover?” 

“I suppose he’s chosen that for himself.” Jaeho fondly shook his head with a laugh before giving in and turning to Hyejoo, “Are you sure it’s alright?” 

“Chanri doesn’t work tomorrow. I don’t think she’ll mind.” 

“Then alright.” Jaeho walked around the bed once again to press a kiss to Taemin’s hair. “Goodnight Baby. Be good for them, alright? I’ll come to get you after lunch.” 

“Bye Daddy,” Taemin mumbled, eyes starting to flutter closed just as he shoved his thumb into his mouth. 

Jinki looked down at his little friend before wiggling back down fully. He grinned when his Ma came over to kiss his cheek. “Goodnight Sweetie.”

“Night Ma. Love you!” 

Hyejoo warmly smiled as she started to close the door, turning off the big light on her way out. “I love you too.”

\------

_ Early October 1997 _

Jinki’s sleeping bag was still rolled up by the door. Taemin claimed his new big boy bed was large enough for them to sleep on like Jinki’s next door, but the older boy thought he’d bring it just in case. His mothers had taken the opportunity to go to some play the college was putting on. He recalls it being about something Greek or Roman, but nothing more than that as it was not something he was interested in. Taemin is showing him the fish in the tank his Dad had set up that weekend when Jinki hears the raised voice coming from the kitchen. He looks away from the brightly colored fish swimming just by their hands on the glass to Taemin, but the boy already has his head down. “Daddy is having boy problems. Or that’s what he told me. Been happening for a while.”

“And he yells like that?”

“Not all the time, but many.” Taemin shrugged before looking up with a bright smile, “Wanna play legos?” 

Jinki flinches as the volume of the yelling increases as Taemin’s Dad moves through the house. “Do you want to go see my treehouse?”

Taemin rocked on the balls of his feet, little hands twisting in front of him as he looked between the archway leading to his dad and Jinki. “But Daddy says I’m not allowed to leave.” 

“You come to my house all the time and besides, he’s on the phone.” Jinki bit his bottom lip, looking to make sure Mr. Lee wasn’t going to come through the door. “I don’t like the yelling, Taeter, and we can sleepover in my treehouse. It’s not too cold out or anything.” 

“Okay! Just let me get my dinosaur and blanket.”

“Alright, I’ll be waiting for you right here.”

As Taemin disappeared to the left to go up the stairs Mr. Lee popped his head into the room, the phone pulled away from his ear slightly as he softly asked Jinki, “Where’s Taemin?”

“Getting his blanket Mr. Lee.” The man nodded before returning back to his conversation and Jinki hoped he missed how he grimaced. A few moments later Taemin came shuffling in, blanket wrapped around his tiny shoulders and dinosaur he’s had since he was two held tightly between his arms. “Ready?”

“Are you sure this is okay?”

“I don’t see why not. We aren’t going anywhere dangerous and it’s right next door.”

Taemin let his left hand fall from his dinosaur to curl around Jinki’s with a big smile. “Then let’s go see the treehouse.” 

\------

Using the flashlight Jinki’s Ma had put in his sleepover bag just in case, they sat in the bean bags and ate out of the sandwich bags packed for them. They only had a juice pouch each, but playing Connect four allowed them to not focus so much on that. The moon was high in the sky, lighting up the treehouse with a decent amount of light through the window behind Taemin. He wasn’t sure what time it was when he heard what he believed to be his parents' voices, but the tone was one he was sure he had never heard before. They sounded scared.

A few moments later the latch just to the right of them opened and before either of them could fully move away, there, illuminated by a lantern was his Mom. “Oh, sweet Jesus.” She climbed the rest of the way, shouting down below. “I found them.”

Jinki was tugged roughly into a tight hug, his Mom’s face pressed into his neck. His arms flapped awkwardly beside him as she pulled away and reflecting in the light were tears falling from her face as he cupped his. “Mom, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” 

“We thought you were lost, Baby. You scared us.” 

“But I didn’t think I did anything wrong.” 

“You didn’t tell Mr. Lee where you two were going. He came into the living room to find you missing. He called us frantic at the restaurant.” She ran her hands over his hair, breath rough and fingers shaking. “You know better than to come out here without telling the adult in the house.” 

“Mr. Lee was yelling over the phone and I didn’t like it, but I didn’t want to leave Taemin; because we’re supposed to be having a sleepover, so we came over here because I thought it wasn’t bad, because it was just over to our house like we’re always at.” He huffed quickly as he finished, scared that his parents were going to be mad at him or worse, Mr. Lee at Taemin. “I’m sorry, Mom.” 

“Oh Baby, It’s okay. We’re just glad you’re both okay.” She pressed a kiss to his forehead before turning to Taemin with a soft smile, “Come on down. We’ll clean this all up later.” 

She went down first and then Jinki, but he went slowly to make sure that Taemin could make it down the ladder okay in the dim light of the back patio light. As soon as both of them were on the ground they were tugged into tight hugs. Jinki vaguely registered his Mom pulling away and asking Mr. Lee if they could talk, but he focused on the way Taemin was left alone hugging his arms around himself. He looked up at his Ma then and quietly asked, “Can Taemin and I go inside Ma?”

“Of course, Sweetie. The back door is open.”

He had his arm around Taemin’s thin shoulders when he turned to ask, “Will you help me make hot chocolate?”

She pressed her lips together before sighing, “Alright. But we still need to talk about this Baby.”

“I know, Ma.”

\------

_ March 1998 _

Jinki stood at the bottom of the ladder leading up to his treehouse watching to make sure Taemin made it all the way up without falling. They hadn’t been out here much in the treehouse with all the snow and falling temperatures, but with the sun shining bright above them and the snow all melted, both were ecstatic to be allowed up here again. Once the boy was safe up through the hole, Jinki followed quickly after. He found Taemin standing a few steps from the hole, looking around the place with his lips parted and his eyes wide. “It looks so cool now.”

“Mom helped me put battery-powered lights up. It looks really cool at night.” He wiggled the door over the hole, latching it properly like his Ma had shown him before plopping back in the nearest bean bag chair. With a little stretching, he managed to pull over his backpack. The container with a few cookies his Mom had given him was on the top of his folders from school. Once the top was off, he offered them over to the boy. “Want one?” 

“Daddy told me no cookie before food.” 

Jinki grinned. “Is your Daddy here right now Taeter?” 

Taemin’s bottom lip was pulled through his teeth, little fingers twisting in his shirt for a moment before he was reaching out for one, crumbs falling from his lips as he talked with his mouth full. “No.” 

“Plus dinner is in like 3 hours.” The container was placed on the small table against the wall behind them before Jinki pulled out his red folder for math.

“What’s that?”

“Math Homework. We started long division this week.” 

“Division?” 

“It’s when you take a number and divide it by another like, if you have 4 and divide it by 2, it’s 2.” 

“So like minus?” 

“Subtraction?” Taemin nodded enthusiastically. “In a way. A step up from that.”

“Oh,” Taemin flopped back in the other bean bag and squished his cheek with his fist as he leaned against it. “I don’t like this… homework.”

He looked over at the boy with a laugh. “Secret is, no one does Taeter.” 

“Question.”

“Answer.”

“Will my dance class have this... Homework?” 

Jinki hummed, “I suppose, but it’d probably just be more dancing. And you like dancing.” 

“Maybe.”

\------

Jinki glanced up from the post-it note he found stuck on the inside of his backpack. It was from his mothers telling him they loved him when he felt Taemin lift his hand and slide something onto his finger. They had just finished playing with the giant cloth checkerboard, and Taemin having lost had to put it away back into the bag. He had expected the boy to still be across the way putting the said bag away. If he wasn’t 100 percent positive that the hatch on the floor hadn’t moved, he’d have been a lot more startled. On his second finger from the left was a red ring pop and when he looked up at Taemin the boy was grinning from ear to ear. Jinki stuck the post-it back on his backpack without looking as he asked. “What is this for?” 

“Marry me.”

Jinki stared at him, “You’re 4.” 

“Yeah, but Daddy says you gotta marry your best friend and that you gotta jump on it.” Taemin was rocking on the balls of his feet, hands wringing in front of him. “So will ya?” 

With a smile, Jinki laughs and jokingly agrees. “Sure Taeter. I’ll marry you.” 

\------

About an hour later they were called in by Taemin’s dad for Sunday family dinner they had every week. Jinki had forgotten about the candy ring on his finger until his Mom mentioned in as he carried the mashed potatoes to the table. As much as they both enjoyed traditional Korean cooking, his mothers had tried to give him what they liked to call ‘American culture’ to help him fit in at school. “I didn’t think you liked Cherry.” 

He looked up as he took his seat, before realizing what his Mom meant. “Oh, I don’t usually. Taemin gave it to me.”

Just then Taemin chirped from his seat beside Jinki. “He’s gonna be my wife.” 

Everyone at the table abruptly turned toward Taemin’s father as he coughs loudly, struggling to put his wine glass on the table and speak to them. “He’d be your husband, Sweetie.” 

Taemin stops gyrating in his seat to look up at Jinki’s mothers. “They’re married and they say wife!” 

Jinki could feel the heat rising as his mothers' laughter caused his embarrassment to increase. “If that’s what you want. I’ll be your wife.”

“It is.” The boy deemed before shoving his face with a spoonful of mashed potatoes, effectively ending the conversation much to Jinki’s delight. “So ‘ood.”

“What did I say about talking with food in your mouth?” 

Taemin frowned after swallowing. “To not. It’s rude. Sorry, Daddy.”

Jinki smiled softly when Taemin glanced over at him and almost immediately the boy relaxed again to focus on his food. The conversation turned to homework assignments, preschool adventures, and eventually, things that happened at their parents’ work. His Mom updated with what she could on this case she had been working on for a few weeks, while his Ma discussed this prominent recruit she was sure she was about to receive for the upcoming season. Taemin’s Dad told funny stories about his students including the ongoing saga of the girl who insisted penguin was spelled Pengwin no matter how many times she was corrected or references she was shown. 

By the time Taemin and his Father left it was way past dark and Jinki had to climb the ladder up to the treehouse for his backpack in the light of his Mom’s flashlight. Before he was allowed to watch the Little Mermaid like he wanted to, his mothers had to check that his homework was complete and sign his plan book. Once it was verified he rushed out of the kitchen like a rocket, sprawling out on the couch to wait for one of them to change the channel for him.

\------

“Hey Mommies?” 

Both women turned toward his voice, the television muting as they looked over the back of the couch. Both looked concerned, but his Mom was the one who spoke. “What are you still doing up Baby?” 

“Um,” He lifted up the ring pop in his hand. “I wanted to save this and I couldn’t reach the containers.” 

The women shared a smile before his Ma detangled herself from the blankets, leading him into the kitchen and getting a small one from the middle shelf. She kissed his head before smiling. “Now off to bed, hon. You have school tomorrow.” 

“Thanks, Ma. Goodnight.” As he walked toward the steps he called out, “Goodnight Mom!”

“Goodnight Baby, sweet dreams.” His bare feet padded up to the steps quietly, the little container grasped between both hands as he pushed open his bedroom door with his foot. Once he was sure the top was fully placed, he set it on the bookshelf he put his action figures and legos on. He wasn’t sure if Taemin would even remember proposing to him, but it served as a reminder the little boy thought of him as his best friend. He’d keep it as long as he could if only for that reason. 

He climbed up into his bed, wiggled under the covers and smacked his palm against his lamp beside his bed. His mothers would be up eventually to check if he was really sleeping and he didn’t want to be caught awake again. 

\-----

_ March 2000 _

The bus half bounced down the road, the driver going way too fast in Jinki’s opinion, as he watched the trees fly by the window. He wanted to press his forehead against the cool glass, but each attempt left him with a headache. He wasn't paying attention to what was going on in the rest of the bus until he felt Taemin jostle roughly beside him. The five-year-old boy was up on his knees, turned toward the back of the bus, the tips of his ears were turning red as he wagged his finger angrily at the kids behind him. Jinki reached over to gently touch his elbow and smiled when Taemin’s head whipped towards him. “Taeter, what’s wrong?” 

“They’re being mean!” 

Jinki pushed up a little to peek over the back of the seat. The two kids sitting behind them seemed to be more around his age than Taemin’s. As he sat back down, he asked, “What did they say?” 

“Stuff about your moms,” Taemin mumbled, shifting to sit on his butt once again. His eyes were downcasted toward his lap as he said. “And they called me Taeter.”

“You don’t need to protect me, Taemin. I’m more than familiar with the harsh things kids can say about my moms.” Jinki nudged him softly with his elbow to make Taemin look at him. “And I call you Taeter all the time. What’s so wrong with that?”

“They aren’t you.” 

Jinki lifted his arm and Taemin shifted over into the embrace. His voice was barely heard over the rumble of the bus and the volume of the children around them, “Aren’t you just a tiny knight in shining armor. Protecting your wife’s honor.” 

“Damn right.”

“Taemin!” 

The boy just giggled. 

\------

“Are you going to come to my dance competition?” Jinki turned his head to look at Taemin as he spoke. Their legs were resting against the back of the couch, heads against the cushions, and feet wiggling in the air. 

“Depends. When is it?” 

“I’m not sure, but I have a solo this time and I really want you to be there.” 

Jinki tossed a throw pillow against Taemin’s stomach and giggled when the boy flailed a little. “I’ll try my best Taeter.” 

Pleased, Taemin went back to trying to reach his feet with his legs straight up. He had his feet just in his grasp when his Dad came into the room. “Do I want to know?”

“We’re being turtles that have been flipped over Daddy.” 

Jinki grinned, hair falling from his forehead as he leaned his head back to look at Jaeho more clearly. The man just shook his head and wiped his hands on the towel in his hands. “Dinner should be ready soon. Why don’t you turn right side up and go get cleaned up, boys?”

“Hey, Daddy?”

“Yes, Sweetheart?” 

“When’s my dance thing?” 

“In a few weeks on the 4th.” 

Taemin whipped his head over to Jinki, hand coming to smack against the older boy’s arm. “Can you make it?”

Jinki was rubbing his arm with a scowl. “If I say yes will you stop hitting me?” 

“My mistake.”

The older boy twisted until he was right side up, wiggling on his slippers and ruffling Taemin’s hair messily. “Anything for you Taeter.”

\------

_ December 2000 _

As much as Jinki enjoyed the Christmas season, he wasn’t a fan of the parties his Moms dragged him to every year. It was fine when he was younger. Most of the time he was sitting on the floor playing with some toy a fellow kid got for Christmas, but now he was old enough the adults wanted to ask him questions and he did not like that one bit. Luckily, Taemin and his Dad came with them this year. Their plans had fallen through and Jinki’s Ma wasn’t about to let them not have a party to go to.

Having Taemin with him made things a lot more enjoyable, even if the boy now was curled up on his thigh asleep. He had Jinki’s hat pulled over his head and down far enough to cover his eyes, thumb in his mouth as he faced the wall. Jinki wasn’t going to let anyone bother his Taeter, even that sweet old lady got a glare when she came their way.

\-----

Jaeho lowered his glass of wine when a soft voice was heard to his left. Standing there was one of Hyejoo’s sisters. “You’re Taemin’s father, aren’t you?”

“I am.” 

She smiled sweetly before gesturing toward the boys across the hall by the second Christmas tree. “They sure are very cute. Jinki’s been fending off people to let Taemin sleep for the last hour.” 

“I sure hope they’re cute.” Jaeho chuckled before he took a sip of wine. “Little man’s already proposed.” 

“Did he?”

“Ring pop and all. Jinki told him he would.” Jaeho’s eyes crinkled with how fond he was looking at the two young boys.

“That’s very cute. My daughter says she wants to get married like Hyejoo.” 

“Well, Chanri is a very amazing person.” Jaeho shrugged. “If she manages to marry someone like that I’d call that a win.”

“I suppose, but you know, we already have one gay couple in the family we don’t need more.” 

His eyebrows were raised as she finished her sentence, humming before smiling at her. “Well, too bad you can’t control that. Merry Christmas.” 

Her expression was missed as he turned around to find either of Jinki’s mothers. While most of their family seemed nice and half accepting, Jaeho really wanted to know when they were heading home. The boys seemed exhausted, presents had already been given after dinner, and all that seemed to be happening was the alcoholics of the family were living up to their reputation. 

An hour later when he finally got to talk to both of them and went to get the kids, Jinki hissed a quiet go away before he realized who they were and a smile beamed across his face. “Are we going home now?” 

“Yes, Baby. Your watch has ended.” Chanri held out her hand for him after Taemin was scooped up by Jaeho. “Let’s go get your coat.”

Taemin nuzzled against his Dad’s shoulder, mumbling, “I want to eat snow.” 

“There’s an entire yard of it at home.”

“Mm snow.” He was snoring softly before his Dad’s feet even hit the first step up to the main level.

\------

_ September 2001 _

For the first few weeks, Jinki was very aware of how upset Taemin was that they were no longer riding the same bus to and from school. Starting middle school meant he went and got off of school earlier, but every afternoon he’d sit on the porch swing with the sandwiches one of his mothers made for them and wait for Taemin to jump off the bus down at the corner a few houses to the right. As fall turned into winter Jinki changed to waiting at the bus stop for him to hold his hand and lead him through the snow still piled high on the sidewalks in front of houses that didn’t shovel it yet. Hot cocoa was served at the kitchen table while they each did their homework. Every so often Jinki would have to help Taemin save his cookie he dropped into the bottom of his mug.

\-----

_ December 2001 _

When his twelfth birthday rolled around it fell on a Friday. He was woken up by his Ma, the silly cloth birthday hat they’ve used as long as he can remember in her hand. “Come on Sweetie, wake up. Your birthday breakfast awaits.”

His slippers were wiggled onto his feet as he swung himself out of bed and jogged down the steps in front of his Ma, sliding around the bottom banister and barely stopping himself from colliding with the back of one of the dining table chairs. He felt his Ma put the cloth hat on his head as his Mom carried over the last bowl of his birthday spread including rice, kimchi and grilled meat he couldn’t wait to eat. It wasn’t often he could have Korean food for breakfast, his mothers opting for more western choices such as cereal or pastries one picked up on the way back from work with how much quicker they were to prepare. “Thank you.”

His Mom pressed a kiss to the top of his head mindful of his hat, “You’re welcome Baby. Happy Birthday.” 

\-----

Being his birthday he was able to skip school. He didn’t have any tests, presentations or anything vastly important that couldn’t be made up at a later date, and he hadn’t missed any school besides that one time he got a stomach bug from Taemin. He made sure to put on his long johns under his jeans and an extra pair of socks on before heading downstairs to sit on the bottom step and pull on his snow boots. He got to choose what they did on his birthday with a few restrictions and this year he wanted to go to the zoo. 

The drive there seemed to take forever and by the time he stepped out of the back seat, he couldn’t wait to see the giraffes. He took his Ma’s hand and beamed up at his Mom as she approached. “Where first Baby?” 

“Giraffes!” 

“Oh silly me. I should have known that.” He swung both of their hands as best he could as his Ma showed their season pass as they approached the front gate. To the left was the gift shop and to the right was a restaurant and the bathrooms, but just past that to the right was the bridge that led across the lake to the African section of the zoo. As soon as they walked down the hill through the large bamboo shoots he shot off like a rocket toward the netted barrier. “Jinki be careful!” 

When his Mothers finally caught up to him he was sitting on the stone ground that had been shoveled free of snow, legs crisscrossed in front of him, and fingers curled in the knots in the rope barrier staring at the baby giraffe just under him too short to reach that high. “Look Ma, Mom! He’s small.” 

“He is.” His Ma softly stated as she leaned on the wooden top of the barrier. “He’s waiting to go back into his house. It’s too cold.” 

“Do you want to go see the polar bears?” His Mom quietly asked, smiling when he glanced up at her. “We can come back to see them again before we leave.” 

Jinki stared as the baby giraffe moved into the big tall doors out of view, a frown deep on his face as he pushed off the ground. “Yeah.” 

“Come on Sweetie. They’ll be really happy with all this snow.” 

\------

By the time they made it back home Jinki was nodding off against the stuffed animal giraffe he had chosen as his one thing from the gift shop. He had wanted to stay longer, but Taemin would be getting off the bus soon and he never missed a day. Traffic had made it so they were a little late and Jinki was just then sliding out of the SUV as the school bus turned the corner. Taemin was stepping off the bus and looking around wildly for him as he stepped through the snow, but as soon as he saw Jinki a big grin spread across his face. “Happy birthday Jinki!” 

“Thank you.” He offered his elbow for Taemin to curl his arm around, which he happily took. “You coming over for snacks?” 

“For a little bit until Daddy gets home. He’s gonna help me with something.” 

“I can try and help you if it’s important.”

Taemin huffed. “You can’t help me with this.”

His Mom had the door open for them as they stepped up the porch steps, the water already being put on the stove for their cocoa as they hung up their coats and kicked off their shoes. 

\-----

When dinner rolled around Taemin’s dad came to get him. Jinki saw Mr. Lee say something to his Mom, but he was too far away to hear much of it. Besides, he really wanted to open his present that his Ma was getting from their bedroom closet. Just as the front door clicked closed his Ma entered the living room and sat on the right side of him as the wrapped box was pushed on the coffee table in front of him. His Ma kissed his cheek, laughing as he wiggled to get free. “Happy Birthday Sweetie.”

His fingers brushed against the cool to the touch wrapping paper before he faltered and looked toward her, bottom lip between his teeth for a moment. “Shouldn’t we wait for Mom?”

“She’ll be here in a minute. Go on ahead.” 

It felt a little wrong to do it without her, but he pulled at the visible folds on the side and began to rip it off. Inside was a shoebox, but as he lifted the lid inside wasn’t a pair of shoes. On the bottom surrounded by a lot of tissue paper was a dog collar. Jinki curled his fingers around the light blue-collar, the tag clinking slightly as he brought it from the box. Underneath was a gift card to the local pet store they had bought his betta fish when he was nine. “I’m confused, Ma.” 

“It’s not for you.” She quietly replied.

“But-”

“It’s for him.” His attention snapped up and forward at the sound of his Mom’s voice. It took Jinki a moment to notice the animal in her arms, but he squeaked a little when he did. “Aren’t you going to come and say Hi?” 

Jinki quickly rounded the table, collar still in his grasp as he came to a stop in front of his Mom and the small dog in her arms. His right hand lifted to barely brush against the dog before he looked up with wide eyes. “He’s mine?” 

“Your Ma and I will help you train him, but you’ll have to feed him and take care of him.” She slowly lowered to the ground, the puppy in her lap and hands holding him still around his chest. “Are you ready for that responsibility, Baby?” 

Jinki nodded slowly, finally reaching out to run his hand over the puppy’s head, bottom lip trembling a little. His voice was very soft, almost a whisper when he answered verbally. “I’ll try my very best.” 

Chanri then passed the puppy over into her son’s arms and kissed his forehead. “If you want to we can go use that gift card tomorrow.” 

“Thank you.” He whipped around enough to see his Ma who was grinning from ear to ear. “Thank you. I love him.” 

As Jinki got acquainted with his new pet on the carpet in front of the television, his mothers curled up on the couch softly talking to each other and smiling fondly each time their son laughed.

\------

In the morning Jinki came downstairs slowly, hair a mess and with only one slipper firmly on, to find Taemin sitting in the middle of the kitchen giggling as Oli wiggled between his legs. The small corgi pup had his tongue out of his mouth, front paws tapping against the hardwoods, and every so often a small bark was heard. The floor beneath his foot creaked as Jinki stepped into the room and all eyes flicked over to him. Taemin’s voice overpowered all three adults as he rushed over to grab his friend’s hand. “Jinnie! You got a puppy!”

“I did.”

“I meant to come over yesterday.” Taemin scowled as he weaved around the wiggling puppy around his feet to grab the bag on the dining table next to his Dad. As he handed it to Jinki he grinned. “But it wasn’t done baking yet.” 

“You didn’t attempt to make me a cake, did you?”

“No, Daddy has trouble burning things.” 

Mr. Lee cleared his throat from over his coffee cup. “Thanks, Bud.” 

Taemin rocked on the balls of his feet. “I know it’s not a dog but I hope you like it..” 

Under all of the tissue paper was what looked like a heart. Jinki carefully lifted it from the bag and brought it up closer to inspect it. It was a bit dense clay from the feel of it. It was a heart, painted slightly rough with the words. Happy Birthday in Hangul. “You made this Taeter?” 

“Mhmm. I signed the bottom, see.” 

Sure enough, as Jinki turned the heart over Love Taeter was scribbled roughly into the base. “Thank you, Taemin. I love it.” 

His Mom put it on top of the fridge for him for safekeeping as breakfast was served. The food was barely off the plate completely before the two boys were running through the patio doors, Oli yipping at their heels. 

\------

_ February 2002 _

Taemin sneezed loudly as the dust billowed around him. He was sure he hadn’t seen much of what was down here in the basement before in his life and that his Dad had no concept of organization. He thought when the last box was opened to old empty picture frames that the next one would be pictures, but as he opened the flaps Christmas decorations were staring back at him. Box after box he kept opening them until finally, he found one behind the stairs. The box was labeled Yoobin he realized after stepping down from the chair he needed to get to it in the first place. The top was heavily tapped, but after a few minutes of fidgeting with ends, he could finally open the box completely.

Flipping through the photos he realized most were of a woman, he supposed was Yoobin. The questions forming in his mind were half answered as he picked one up to see his Dad next to her. It was a much younger version of his Dad. There were no greys in his hair and Taemin couldn’t see any evidence of himself anywhere in the photos he picked up. When his dad yelled down the stairs for him he jumped, the photos in his hands falling into the box once again. “Taemin, Bud, you down there?” 

“Yeah, Daddy!” 

The stairs creaked softly with a shadow falling as his Dad took the steps one at a time. “What are you doing?”

“Finding pictures for my project... Or trying to.” 

A few moments later his Dad turned the corner and smiled, “You could have asked for help.”

Taemin scrunched his nose. “You were on the phone.” 

“Well, I’m not now.” His gaze moved over to the box Taemin’s hand was still resting against. “What do you have here?” 

The smile on his Dad’s face fell immediately when Taemin asked, “Who’s Yoobin?” 

“That’s… a complicated question Taemin.”

Taemin turned fully toward the box to find a photo of her and his Dad, holding it up quickly for him. “There are many pictures of you in here with her. Who is she? Is she my Mom?” 

The expression on his Dad’s face scared Taemin; as the last time, something resembling it was the night he and Jinki went to the treehouse without telling him. He was hurt and scared. “I guess you’re old enough now to be told the truth. Come on, Bud. Let’s go upstairs.” 

“I want to know now!” 

“Please Taemin.” A hand was held out for him, the voice soft and warm as the man spoke. “I’ll answer any questions you have, but you have to come to hear me out first.” 

He bit his lip, rocking on the balls of his feet before he dropped the photo into the box and took his Dad’s hand to be led back up the stairs. When they arrived in their living room his Dad sat in the recliner before patting his lap and smiling as Taemin jumped up. “Can I ask a question before you explain?”

“You just did, Bud.” 

His brows furrowed. “I mean another one.” Once his Dad nodded, Taemin continued, “Is she, my mom?”

\-----

Jaeho had hoped that when the time came to tell Taemin more about his mother-besides the fact that she wasn’t here-that Taemin would have been a bit older than eight. While not the age he wished him to be, the boy was old enough to deserve the truth. Jaeho gazed at his son’s face, the big eyes, the bottom lip pulled between his teeth, and he knew that telling Taemin this would break his heart. “She is.” 

“Why isn’t she here?”

“We moved here when you were only a few months old. The apartment I had been living in I shared with a friend of mine and it wasn’t the right atmosphere to raise a newborn. I loved your mother very much, but when you were born we weren’t together.” Jaeho took a deep breath, eyes fluttering a little before he made sure he was looking at Taemin as he continued. “She isn’t here because she decided she didn’t want to be a mother and she gave you to me to raise.”

Time seemed to move as if he was dumped in a vat of honey, the emotions coming and going so vividly over the young boy’s face as he tried to process the words. Finally, the silence broke as the boy softly questioned, “She didn’t want me? My mom… gave me up?” 

“Baby it’s not that-”

“No! That’s what you said.” He shouted, scrambling off of Jaeho’s lap. “She gave me to you. You told me she was gone.”

“I didn’t lie to you. She is gone.” Taemin turned on his heel and pulled open the front door. “Taemin! Where are you going?” 

“To Jinki.”

“I didn’t tell you that you could leave.”

“You didn’t tell me a lot of things, Dad.” And with that, the door slammed as the boy left in his house slippers. 

\-----

Jinki slowly looked up from his history paper he was working on when his Mom got up from the table to go answer the front door. It was almost eight-thirty and as far as he knew they weren’t expecting anyone. His head snapped back up when he heard Taemin’s voice and saw his pink bunny slippers through his Mom’s legs. “Is Jinki home?”

“He is. Where’s your Dad, Taemin?” 

“Home. Can I please come in?” His hiccups were quick and loud. Jinki watched his Mom step aside and Taemin’s eyes were on him immediately. The smile the older boy had on his face was gone in an instant the moment he noticed the tears on Taemin’s face. 

“Taeter, what’s wrong?” As Taemin practically slammed into him, Jinki twisted to embrace him more effectively. “I thought you weren’t coming over tonight to work on your family tree.” 

“My mom didn’t want me.” The world around them screeched to a halt with such a heart cutting statement that Jinki was not prepared to handle at all. He looked up from the mop of hair pressed into his chest, looking quickly around for either of his moms, panicked. Luckily, his Mom had followed Taemin in and quickly moved over to take over the situation. 

\------

While it wasn’t uncommon to open the door to find Taemin wanting to play with Jinki, he had never shown up without proper shoes or a coat, shivering with tears covering his little face. Chanri knew something had to have happened, but she never thought she’d hear the little boy say the words that his mom didn’t want him. Jinki was doing his best to comfort the boy, but he was out of his element and no twelve year old should be expected to be able to emotionally handle something like this. Her son’s eyes were barely lifting to her before Chanri was moving closer and asking, “Taemin, hey, Baby what do you mean?” 

Taemin glanced over, cheek still squished against Jinki, “Found photos of a girl with my Dad.”

“And he told you it was your mom?” Taemin nodded back softly. “Did he tell you she didn’t want you?”

A rough hiccup jarred the boy’s small frame when he tried to speak, but as each attempt failed he became flustered and embarrassed and nuzzled his face into Jinki completely. Chanri rubbed a hand on Taemin’s back softly as she looked past the two of them to her wife. Hyejoo was coming in from the laundry room, basket against one hip and another hand lifting to pull out her earbud seeing they had a guest. Chanri didn’t want to explain things too much in front of the kids, so instead, she turned to Jinki, “Can you take Taemin up to your room Baby? And get him all dried off and warm?” 

“Yes, Mom. Come on Taeter.” Before they made it out of the room Jinki turned back to softly ask, “Can I take Oli out of his kennel?” 

“Yes, Baby.” 

“Thank you.” 

As soon as the two boys were around the corner and up the stairs Hyejoo quietly asked, “Alright, what the fuck happened in the 30 minutes I walked into the laundry room?” 

“I believe Jaeho finally told Taemin the truth about his mother.” Chanri pushed off the table. Fingertips still brushing the surface as she turned toward her wife fully. “He thinks he wasn’t wanted by his Mom.” 

Hyejoo looked like she was a second away from storming over to Jaeho’s home and giving him a piece of her mind, “And where is Jaeho?” 

“Next door I’m presuming.” Chanri grabbed Hyejoo’s wrist softly as the woman moved toward the hallway leading to the front door with a small smile. “As much as I want to let you loose, we have to think about how to handle this before we act.” 

“Why? He obviously didn’t!” 

“Love,” The tension left Hyejoo’s wrist as she turned to listen to her wife. “This is going to be very hard for Taemin and he’s finding comfort in our son. One of us needs to go over and talk to Jaeho about this and how he wants to proceed. Do you want to do that and be level headed about it, or do you want to stay here and make sure the boys are alright?’

“I-” Hyejoo’s mouth snapped shut after a moment before she sighed, “Will stay here and make sure the boys are alright.” 

“That’s a good girl.” Chanri kissed her wife’s forehead before grabbing her keys just in case the front door locked behind her. “ Make some of those oatmeal cookies. Taemin really likes those.”

When she looked toward Hyejoo, the woman was already standing by the freezer, storage bag full of premade cookie balls in her hand. There was a bright grin on Hyejoo’s face as she quipped. “One step ahead of you.” 

“And I’d get some extra blankets. I think Taemin is going to want to stay with Jinki tonight.” 

Hyejoo nodded, “See if you can get his dinosaur. He won’t be able to sleep without it.”

“Aye, Love. Be right back.”

\----

The cold February wind whipped against Chanri as she stood on Jaeho’s front porch, waiting for the door to open. She wasn’t exactly sure what she was going to say, but she planned to get the details of what caused Taemin to think his mother didn’t want him. While such a statement seemed true, that wasn’t something you openly admit to a child. Before she could get too angry by her thoughts, the door whipped open. Jaeho’s expression fell a little, but he stepped aside to let her in. “I thought you might be Taemin.”

“He’s probably eating an oatmeal cookie and playing with Jinki’s puppy right now.” 

Jaeho pressed his lips together in a thin line as the door clicked closed, “Chanri, listen I-”

She held a hand up quickly after shaking off her coat. “I am not here to judge you or scold you like a child, Jaeho. I just want to understand why your son showed up in tears believing his Mother didn’t want him.” 

“He found a box of stuff that I have of Yoobin and her things while looking for pictures for a family tree project. He asked if she was his mother and why she wasn’t here. I decided he deserved to know the truth.” 

“That she didn’t want him? You don’t tell a child that!” 

“I thought you weren’t going to judge.” 

Chanri ran her fingers through her hair with a sigh, “While I agree that the truth is important, what did you say to him exactly?”

“I explained that I wasn’t with her when he was born and that she left him to me to raise because she didn’t want to be a mother.” 

“Jaeho.” She softly whined, “What have you been telling him all these years?”

“That she was gone.” 

“Jesus Christ.” She hissed. “Alright, listen, you’re going to go over there and apologize to Taemin, try to make him understand why she would do something like that, and if you have to sugar coat it, do it.” 

“I don’t appreciate you telling me how to parent my child.” 

“Oh,” Chanri chuckled lightly, before scowling at him and poking a finger into his chest. “I don’t appreciate having my child deal with your mess. He’s twelve trying to help his friend deal with very complicated emotions so get the fuck over yourself.” 

\-----

Taemin looked up from petting Oli’s tummy when there was a knock on the door. Standing there was his Dad. The boy immediately looked away, lip jutted out. “I don’t want to talk to you.”

“Please, Bud.”

“No.” 

“You don’t have to talk. Just listen.” 

Jinki gave him a big smile from across the way when Taemin looked over, and it was enough for the younger boy to agree. “Fine.”

“Come on Jinki. Give them some privacy.” Jinki hesitantly began to move from his spot at his Ma’s instructions but froze when Taemin whined his name.

“Let him stay. Please.” 

The woman looked down at Jinki as she asked, “Are you comfortable with staying, Sweetie?”

“Yeah. I want to be here for Taeter.”

“Alright. Your Mom and I are just downstairs if you need us.” 

It was hard to listen to his Dad with how angry and hurt Taemin was, but it helped tons that Jinki was sitting right beside him, holding his hand between both of his. When they went to bed that night he was curled up with his dinosaur, back pressed to Jinki’s, feeling exhausted but lightweight as he fell asleep.

\-------

A few weeks later Taemin is sprawled out on the floor at the end of Jinki’s bed, homework spread out in front of him when he softly calls out to the older boy up on the bed. “Jinki?” 

There’s rustling and the sound of paper being crinkled before Jinki’s head can be seen past the foot of the bed, “So there’s this dance coming up.”

The older boy grinned, “Are you going to go?”

“That depends.”

“On?”

Taemin huffed and pushed off the ground, closing his workbook to look at Jinki fully, hands in his lap as his legs are pulled in closer. “On how you feel about me asking your moms if they’d go with me.”

It takes a moment, but the realization dawning on Jinki is visible over his expression. “It’s a mother-son dance.” 

“Yeah,” Taemin’s bottom lip is jutted out, gaze down as he shrugs. “It’s alright. I didn’t want to go anyway.”

“Hey!” Jinki fumbles a little as he tries to get off the bed and away from his mess of homework quickly, but soon he’s falling to his knees and taking Taemin’s shoulders into his hands. “If you asked either of them they’d be happy to go, I know it.”

“Are you okay with that?”

“I have two Moms.” Jinki grins a little. “I think I can share one for a night.” 

With a shaky breath, Taemin sniffled. The brightness of Jinki’s expression dims dramatically as he rushes to bring the young boy into a hug. “All my friends are going and I just-”

“Shh, it’s alright.”

Taemin had talked to Jinki about wanting a mom many times over the years, but ever since he found the box of pictures his Dad had kept of his birth mom that desire only increased. As well as the feeling of being unwanted when he asked where she was and his Dad finally told him the truth. “Will you go with me to ask?”

“Of course.”

\-----

“Hey Mommies?” Both women looked up at Jinki’s voice, smiling with each greeting. “Taeter has a question.”

Taemin hid a little behind Jinki, hands still gripping the one of Jinki’s tightly, as the attention shifted to him. It was Hyejoo who spoke first, “It’s okay Sweetheart. You can ask us.” 

Jinki flashed a bright smile when the younger boy looked up at him. It was then Taemin stepped back around and softly spoke. “There’s this mommy son dance coming up and I was wondering if you’re not busy and would like to step in for me since.. I don’t have a mom. Jinki said he didn’t mind sharing.”

The women shared a look before they both stood and walked over, kneeling in front of him so he was looking down at them. Chanri softly asked, “What day is it, Sweetie?” 

“The 26th of March.” 

Hyejoo smiled brightly. “It seems we have a date then Taemin. If you’ll have me.” 

Taemin’s entire face brightened as he almost began to jump up and down, “You’ll really go with me, Mrs. Lee?” 

“I’d be honored,” She tapped his chin very softly before smiling, “You know Taemin if you’re comfortable with it, you could call us Ma and Mom like Jinki does.”

“Whoa… really?” 

Chanri ruffled his hair, “You are engaged to our son. Might as well start now.” 

Taemin’s cheeks were a soft pink color as he looked at them both, shyly saying, “Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome, Sweetheart.” 

As the two boys turned and began to bound up the steps Taemin’s unsure voice asked, “Are you okay with me calling them that?”

“I mean we ARE going to be married.” Their voices became too soft and muffled to make out then, and when Chanri turned to Hyejoo she chuckled at the tears slowly falling from her cheeks. 

As she gently wiped them Chanri grinned, “You’re such a baby, Love.”

“Shut up,” Hyejoo grumbled, “I’m just touched he asked us.” 

\------

_ March 2002 _

When the night of the dance came, the doorbell rang half an hour before the dance was supposed to start. Hyejoo had a blue dress on, going down till her knees and flats, hair curled and brought up out of her face. As Chanri went to answer the door, Jinki was sitting on the staircase, looking between the banister rungs. “You look really pretty, Ma.” 

“Thank you, Sweetie.” Their attention shifted to the front door as Chanri stepped aside and standing there was Taemin and his Dad. “Hi, Sweetheart.”

“Ma, I know I’m early but Daddy says to never be late to a date.” Taemin had his back super straight, with his hair pushed up with gel, and a snazzy little tuxedo on his frame. 

Hyejoo flicked her eyes up at Jaeho for a moment before returning back to the boy. “Is that so?”

“Mhmm, and I brought you a flower.” He held it up quickly, little fist curled tightly around the stem. “It’s from our front yard. I know you like flowers.” 

“I do.” Hyejoo softly smiled as she brought the daisy to her nose to sniff. “Thank you.” 

“You two better get going squirt.” Jaeho ruffled his son’s hair, beaming when Taemin glared up at him. 

“Dad!” He whined. “You’ll mess up my hair.” 

Jinki quipped from his spot on the stairs, Oli laying beside him. “You can’t do that anymore than it already is Taeter.” 

“You look like a frog.”

“Alright, John Travolta in Grease.” 

“Come now boys.” Hyejoo chuckled. 

“Sorry Ma,” The two boys quietly said. Taemin’s cheeks were a soft pink, head dipped a little as if shy. 

“You ready to go, Sweetheart?”

“Yes, Ma.”

“Then let’s go.”

Before they could leave Hyejoo got a kiss from Chanri and Jinki, and Taemin tried to wiggle away from his Dad trying to say goodbye. Once the door was closed Jaeho quietly said, “Thank you for doing this for him.” 

“It really isn’t a problem.” Chanri made sure they made it out of the garage before turning from the window on the side of the door. “Did you know he was going to ask us?”

“No, I was preparing to go with him instead before he told me Hyejoo said she’d go with him.” 

“I would have, but tonight's video game night with Jinki.” 

At the mention of his name, the boy whipped around the stairs, beaming. “Are you ready to go down, Mom?”

“In your dreams, Little Man.” 

Jinki huffed, “Come on Oli, let’s go get it started.”

Once the boy and his dog had disappeared into the next room Chanri leaned against the wall and quietly asked Jaeho, “You looked a little surprised to hear him call Hyejoo Ma. Are you alright with him calling us that?” 

“I would have liked to be asked about it.”

“And I apologize for that.” Chanri sighed, “With how much he’s been through, we were really touched he thought to ask us to go. We love your son, Jaeho. He’s very important to us and Jinki.” 

“I know, and you must know how grateful I am for how you’ve helped us both all these years.” 

Chanri grinned, “Do you want to join Jinki and me? We’re playing Mario Party on his GameCube.”

“I don’t want to intrude. It’s your thing with him.” His keys jingled a little as he shifted. “I’ll be back to pick Taemin up later.” 

“Have a goodnight Jaeho.” 

The man had just stepped from the door when Jinki popped his head around the corner, half hanging off one end of the couch. “Mom, are you coming?”

She locked the deadbolt on the door with a grin. “I was letting you get prepared to lose.” 

\------

_ February 2003 _

“Hey, Sweetie?” Jinki skidded to a halt, backtracking until he could see his Ma down the hall in the dining room. “Can you come here for a second?” 

“Uh sure.” As he stepped into the room he finally saw his Mom too. He scratched the back of his neck, “I didn’t do anything wrong, right?”

“Unless you have something to confess, no.” His Mom answered, a small grin on her face. “We just have something important we’d like to talk to you about.” 

“This sounds like the start of a lecture. I don’t like it.” He concluded as he slipped into the chair across from them. “Did someone die?” 

“God, no! We just-” He watched as his parents shared a look before his Ma continued. “We want to talk about reproduction.”

Jinki began to scoot further down his seat. “Look, while I appreciate the very good parenting... trying to have the sex talk with me, I learned a lot already and I’d rather not.”

“Where have you been learning these things?” His Ma questioned.

“That is a conversation for another time, Dear.” Jinki praised his Mom for her impeccable judgment. “Besides, that’s not what we wanted to talk about. Your Ma and I have been thinking about having another child.” 

“Oh, so you’re going to adopt again?” 

“No, we-” Both women froze before his Mom spoke again. “What do you mean again?” 

“That’s how you… got me, isn’t it?” 

“Oh my sweet child, no.” His Ma rushed around the table to slip into the chair beside him, “You’ve thought you were adopted this entire time?” 

“I mean you two can’t... You know.” He waves his hands randomly in gesture, head dipping with pink brushed across his cheeks. 

He looked up when he felt someone putting a hand over his, stopping the movements. His Mom had come to his side of the table too. “You aren’t adopted, Jinki. I carried you with the help of a donor.” 

“So I’m not Ma’s?” 

“Sweetie, you may not have my DNA, but you’re my son just as much as you are hers.” A kiss was pressed to his hair, his Ma lingering slightly before pulling away. “I’m sorry you thought you were adopted all this time, Jinki.” 

He bit his lower lip, eyes cast into his lap for a long while before he glanced between the both of them. “Can I have a hug?” 

“Always.” 

After a few moments in the middle of their embrace Jinki quietly asked, “So who’s getting pregnant?” 

They pulled away from him, both laughing quietly before his Mom answered, “We wanted you to be full siblings, so I will.”

“Oh.. okay.” But then his expression twisted, confusion clearly written on his face. “Wait, how’s that going to work?”

His Mom cleared her throat, running her fingers through her hair, “Well when we went to the donation center and choose which donor we wanted we paid money to house the rest of that donor’s sample in case we wanted more children down the road.” 

“Sperm lasts that long in a freezer?” He blurted out before realizing he just said sperm in front of his parents and a blush spread across his face. 

“It lowers how well it works, but yes.” 

Jinki tapped his fingers against his thighs, staring at the table, “As uh nice as this has been, can I please go see Taemin?” 

“Just be home before dinner.” His Ma reminded him just before he bounded out of his seat, kissing them each once on their cheeks, and rushing out of the room.

\-----

_ August 2003 _

Jinki glanced around his open locker at the end of the hall where the girl he liked, Hyoyeon, was standing with a few of her friends. Homecoming was just around the corner and he figured it was the best time as any to ask her out. She was really nice to him all through physical science last year and he thought the way she curled her hair around her finger when she was bored in class was cute. She also thought him having two moms was cool, which was more than he could say about a lot of his classmates. As her friends began to leave Jinki took a deep breath, grabbed his history book, and set off on his mission. 

“Hey, Hyoyeon.” 

She smiled at him when she turned, “Hey Jinki. How was your summer?”

“Pretty good.” His fingers flexed nervously on the bind of his book held against his chest. “I actually have a question for you.” 

She paused getting a pen from the pink mesh cup in her locket and gave a bright smile. “Shoot.” 

“Homecoming is soon and I was wondering if you don’t have a date already...if you’d go with me, maybe.” The silence between them was deafening and Jinki’s heart began to beat rapidly, breathing rate increasing slightly. “It’s okay if someone asked you already or if you don’t want to.” 

“No one’s asked me Jinki.” She turned, scribbling something on the notepad velcroed to the locker door. It was when she handed it over he realized it was a phone number. “I’d love to go with you. Call me around eight tonight. We can talk about the details.” 

“Okay!” 

Hyoyeon closed her locker softly. Before she completely walked past him she stopped to gently kiss his cheek. “Talk to you later Jinki.” 

“B-Bye.” His heart was hammering in his chest, but there was a big grin on his face as he leaned back against the lockers. Then the warning bell rang and he realized he had stuttered. Making his way to his class he muttered, “Stupid Jinki. Just stupid.” 

\-----

_ Christmas Day 2003 _

Taemin was rather enjoying his Christmas. He had gone to church with his Dad that morning after opening a few of his gifts and Jinki had played quite a few games of Mario Party with him while the adults finished cooking, but then the older boy’s girlfriend had arrived. Taemin had met her a few times before and she seemed nice enough, but Jinki never paid as much attention to him when Hyoyeon was around. The younger boy didn’t understand. What was so great about her anyway? Even Oli liked her and Taemin had to work months to get the dog to sit in his lap without a treat prompt. 

When Jinki was called into the kitchen to help set the table it left Taemin alone with her. She had the audacity to smile and be nice. How dare she. “What are you working on, Taemin?” 

“A tree.” He slowly lifted the piece of copy paper to show the Christmas Tree he had been coloring. 

“It’s a very pretty tree.” 

“Thanks.” He went back to scribbling before he asked, “Are you and Jinki going to get married?”

Hyoyeon began to cough, pushing her glass on the table in front of her as she tried to recover. “I don’t know. We’ve only been dating a few months.” 

“Oh.” He placed his crayon on the table beside his open pack of them. “Did he tell you I already proposed?”

“I don’t think that’s come up.” One eyebrow was slightly raised at him and he wasn’t sure what emotion to connect that to. “How do you feel about him dating me?”

“Honestly,” He drawled, “Only one of us gave him a ring pop so I’m not worried.” 

Taemin was faintly sure he heard her laughing as he got up to see what Jinki was doing, but he couldn’t focus much because the older boy was trying to get his attention and that was always more important. 

\------

The door to his bedroom was open as per the house rules when Hyoyeon was over. They were sitting on his bed, the bracelet Jinki had made her on Hyoyeon’s wrist as they held hands resting in Jinki’s lap. She hummed before saying, “So, Taemin told me he was engaged to you today.”

Jinki groaned, “He did not.” 

“Oh, he did. Should I feel threatened by a 10-year-old?” 

“No,” He chuckled before turning to kiss her temple. “He asked me with a ring pop when he was four. It’s just an inside joke in our families.”

A few moments passed before Hyoyeon asked, “Mm, what flavor was the ring pop?”

“Cherry I think.” He looked off to the side trying to recall completely. “It was a flavor I don’t really like, so either that or green apple.” 

“That makes you very weird. Who doesn’t like Cherry?!” 

He pouted when she pulled away, “Me. I don’t like it.” 

“I guess you’re alright.” She sighed before giving a cheeky grin.

\------

_ April 1st, 2004 _

Jinki wasn’t sure how he felt about pregnancy. It seemed oddly weird when he had briefly been taught it in health class the year before, but experiencing it through his Mom made it even more so. His Ma had reminded him not to mention how big the other woman had gotten and to never eat that special jar of apple butter in the fridge. Apparently, it was about to end soon. The last couple of weeks he had heard conversations about someone’s hick contractions and from what he understood that meant the birth was coming. He had asked them both to not let him know anything about the birth or the process and luckily, they agreed. 

Currently, he was helping his Mom fold the baby clothes. Also known as him doing all the folding, and his Mom pointing where she wanted it. According to that little photo, he was shown a few months ago, he’d be gaining a sister soon. The only saving grace was that he had his own bathroom. He wasn’t sure he could handle having to deal with three different hair shedders. Jinki swore his mothers shed more than Oli did. “Baby, are you alright?” 

He snapped out of his thoughts at the sound of her voice, turning with a little smile. “Sorry, daydreaming.” 

“About?” 

“You know, boy things.” He waved his head slightly before placing the onesie on the shelf. “I have a question.” 

“I may have an answer.” She was leaning back in the rocking chair, hands resting on the swell of her belly. 

“Why did you wait so long after me?” 

“You were a horrible child and we needed to focus on you.” She laughed sharply when he half glared at her. “Sorry, I’m kidding. Mainly because I wanted to become a detective and it was difficult to get there without needing the required desk duty and maternity time. After that life took over. We really started to talk about it because there was a phone call about payment for further storage of the sample.” 

“I see.” 

“Would you have wanted a sibling growing up?”

“I mean, I had Taeter. Isn’t he a lot like a sibling?” 

“In a way.” With a hum, she nodded. She was grinning as she commented, “You’re going to find just how hard it is to find a baby’s off button.” 

Jinki groaned as he turned toward her, “I will leave if you tease me again about that! I was 3.” 

“But-”

“Nope!” The rest of her sentence was cut off as he left the room, but her laughter was loud enough to hear through the walls.

\------

When his parents returned from the hospital, Jinki was flat on the floor in front of the television in the living room playing Mario 64 with Taemin pressed into his side. The younger boy claimed it was for good luck. Jinki knew he just wanted to wiggle enough to distract him. He quickly paused the game and turned onto his side to look behind them, seeing his Ma coming in holding the car seat he had helped install a few days before. “Why don’t you come and meet her?” 

Jinki had been offered to go to the hospital for the delivery and the day or so after, but he had watched the video in health class. He’d rather not experience any part of that with his own Mom. Looking into the car seat at first all he could see was a mass of blankets, but then he followed the bear hat to the face of his new sister. Jinki glanced to his right with a grin, elbowing Taemin softly. “She looks like you did. A wrinkly potato.” 

“Hey!” 

“Her name is Junghee.” Jinki reached in and smiled as his sister curled her tiny fingers around his finger. His head whipped up when his Ma asked, “Would you like to hold her?”

“Can I?”

“Come sit.” A few moments later the warm bundle was gently rested in his arms and his Mom was smiling from her spot in the recliner. His Ma moved her hand from under Junghee’s head as she praised him. “Really good support on the head, Sweetie.” 

“I suppose you’re alright so far.” 

He did not think the same way ten minutes later when she began to wail.

\------

_ June 2004 _

The lemonade Jinki had brought out for them sat untouched on the table beside Hyoyeon. The porch swing was moving back and forth slowly, his foot barely pushing off the floor to keep it going. He tried to swallow, but it was difficult as he tried not to cry. “You’re really moving?” 

“I don’t have a choice, Jinki.” Hyoyeon reached over to grab his hand, squeezing it as she continued. “I love you and I asked if we had to go, but my Dad has been transferred and I have to go with him.”

“I don’t want to break up Hyo, but you’re moving to Japan. We can’t-”

“I know.” She took a ragged breath. “We have to end this Jinki. I’m sorry.” 

The swing jostled as Hyoyeon stood, pressing a kiss to his cheek before heading down the steps to where her Mom was waiting in the car parked on the street. The lemonade glasses were left on the table as Jinki went into the house, ignoring his Mom trying to get his attention, and softly closing his bedroom door behind him. 

Jinki had tugged one of his pillows closer to his chest, squishing his face into the blue pillowcase, when he faintly heard the knocking on his door. His voice was muffled by the pillow as he called out. “I want to be left alone!” 

“Can I come in Baby?” 

“Mom, please... Just leave me alone.” 

“I will just give me a few minutes.” When the bed dipped he scooted further away from the edge, hugging his pillow tighter as his Mom’s hand fell on his hip. “What happened, Baby?” 

“Hyo’s moving. We broke up.” He managed to softly say through his hiccups.

The weight on the bed lifted and then there was a kiss pressed to his hair. “Dinner will be ready when your Ma comes home. If you want to talk or need anything you know where we are. I love you.”

Into his pillow, he grumbled, “I love you too.” 

\-----

Jinki stopped doing his homework, fingers pushing into his hair as he snipped, “I thought you said I’d be left alone.”

“Um, even me, Jinnie?” 

He whipped around quickly, eyes wide before softening when he saw Taemin standing in his doorway. The young boy was holding his bag close to his chest, hair a mess on his head, and Jinki’s extra pair of slippers on his feet even if they were a few sizes too big. “No Taeter. Not you. What’s up?”

“Well, your Mom said you were sad so,” He walked over to push his bag on the bed, pulling out a few things before heading to Jinki at the desk. A can of Dr. Pepper and a snack bag full of goldfish crackers were placed beside the older boy’s open textbook. “I brought you a snack. It’s what Daddy gives me when I’m really sad.”

“Thank you.” He gave a fond smile, “I feel better already.” 

“Do you want me to leave now?”

Jinki gazed at him for a moment before shaking his head. “It’s alright. Do you have any homework I can help you with?” 

“I guess. I just need to make you feel important.” Taemin happily mumbled as he plopped onto the rug behind Jinki, backpack pulled down with him. 

“Of course Taeter. Be right there.” A part of Jinki wanted to be left alone, but another couldn’t deny the lightness having the boy around caused in his heart.

\-----

After the dishes were finished and Taemin helped Jinki put them away, both boys came into the living room. The younger wished to play video games, but once it was set up for him Jinki opted to walk over to his parents sitting on the couch. Without anything needing to be said the two women scooted apart just enough for Jinki to sit between them, a kiss pressed to each of his cheeks. Junghee was already in bed, too tired to keep her little eyes open for the remainder of the night, or at least a few hours his parents hoped. His Ma squeezed his knee as he laid his head against his Mom’s right shoulder. “Things will be okay, Sweetie.” 

“It just hurts.” He muttered, squeezing his eyes shut trying to keep himself from crying again. He didn’t want to have to explain to Taemin.

“And it will for some time.” His Mom quietly said against his hair, “And that’s alright too. There’s no set timeline for getting over this.” 

“Can I just stay here for a while?” 

Affection pushed against him on both sides, warm and safe between his mothers. “Of course, Sweetie.” 

\------


	2. Chapter 2

_ March 2007 _

Jinki carefully dropped his backpack as he kicked off his shoes and quietly closed the door with one of his feet. In his other arm was Junghee, sleeping with her cheek squished against his chest. He had picked her up from his Ma on the way home from school and as she had missed her morning nap having to go to work with Ma, Jinki didn’t want to wake her up prematurely. He had become some sort of a master at making it up the stairs and getting her into her bed without waking her up, so much so that both his parents asked him to take her up to bed if she fell asleep somewhere else in the house. 

He pushed her hair from her face before leaving with a quiet click of the door, baby monitor gripped in his other hand. Next was getting the keys from the lock on the door and looking through the mail he had shoved into his backpack quickly before getting Junghee out of the car. He hung his keys on the hook by the door and flipped through the mail with his backpack over his shoulder, making his way into the kitchen. All of the other mail dropped from his fingers onto the table when he saw the name in the top corner of the envelope. Vanderbilt. 

Jinki knew he should wait for his parents, but his hands were shaking and he also knew that waiting would be like shooting his nerves in the face. His thumb was pushed under the opening of the envelope when he heard a key sliding into the front door. After a quick glance at the clock on the stove he knew Mom wasn’t yet to be home for a few more hours, and his Ma even longer. Before panic could fully settle Taemin’s happy voice could be heard, “Jinki?”

“Shh, Junghee’s sleeping.” 

“Oh, Shit. My bad.” Then he froze halfway down the hall. “Wait, are Mom and Ma home?”

Jinki snorted, “No, your horrid language usage is safe.” 

“Good.” He grinned brightly, sliding into one of the dining chairs and leaning heavily on his elbows. Then his eyes caught the envelope in Jinki’s hands. “What’s that?” 

“Nothing.”

“If it’s nothing lemme see it.” Jinki pulled the envelope closer to his chest and Taemin’s eyes narrowed. “Jinki.”

“No.”

“What is it?”

Jinki miscalculated how close he was to the chair behind him and stumbled, allowing Taemin to reach over and snatch the letter from his hand. “Taeter wait!” 

The smile on Taemin’s face fell as he slowly looked up from the envelope. “Vanderbilt? You applied to Vanderbilt?” 

The older boy sighed, “It’s the best school for education majors.” 

“It’s also in Tennessee.” 

“I haven’t even opened it Taeter. You might be worried about nothing if I don’t get in.”

Taemin fell back into the chair, hands falling into his lap as he scowled over at Jinki. “Of course you’ll get in. You’re the top of your class.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.” The envelope was tossed onto the table, Taemin’s arms crossing over his chest as he glared at the unassuming piece of mail. Jinki frowned. “Why are you so upset, Taemin?”

“Because you’re gonna move away!” Taemin hissed, “You’re gonna move away and forget all about me and make a new best friend.” 

Carefully Jinki sat down in the chair beside Taemin, leaning against the table with one elbow. “You don’t need me here Taemin. As much as I love you, you have to admit you have other friends you spend more time with. You have your dancing and you’re starting high school next year. There are phone calls and texting. You won’t even know I’m gone.”

The chair screeched against the hardwood floors as the younger boy roughly stood up. “I can’t believe you.” 

Taemin left with a slam of the front door and before Jinki could think to go after him Junghee’s cries came from the monitor still in the side pocket of his backpack. With a groan, he grumbled as he headed toward the stairs, the letter from Vanderbilt forgotten on the table. “Well fuck me.” 

\------

When Hyejoo arrived home Chanri was in the kitchen finishing dinner. A kiss was pressed to the taller woman’s cheek, keys placed on the bit of marble countertop to the left of the stove. “Where are the kids?” 

“In the recliner sleeping. They haven’t moved since I got home.” 

“Did you get a picture?”

“A few.”

Hyejoo grinned, “Good.” 

The lid was put back on the pot as Chanri stepped to the side to lean against the counter. “There’s also an unopened letter from Vanderbilt on the table.” 

“That’s his first choice.” Hyejoo ran her fingers over the smooth white paper of the envelope before lifting her gaze to her wife. “I wonder why he didn’t open it.” 

“Probably waiting for us,” Her well-manicured nails tapped against her arm as she crossed them over her chest. “Or he was nervous it would be a rejection.” 

“It can’t be a rejection. He’s worked so hard to get in.” 

“We’ll see. I have the confidence in him that he has every chance to get in, but Dear we have to be ready for the possibility that it’s a rejection. Vanderbilt has a very low acceptance rate.” Chanri pushed off the counter and gently kissed Hyejoo, “But how was your day?” 

\------

Junghee was rubbing her eyes with her hand, the other arm wrapped around Jinki’s neck, as he carried her into the kitchen. He paused when he saw his parents kissing. Before he could say anything Junghee softly grumbled, “Mommies smooching.” 

Jinki chuckled when their mothers pulled apart quickly. “It seems they are.” 

“I feel like we’re teenagers,” Ma stated, running her fingers through her shorter hair. “Getting caught kissing where we shouldn’t.” 

“But that’s alright isn’t it, Pumpkin? Not like we haven’t seen them before.” Jinki grinned wider when both of their parents blush deepened. He set Junghee down smiling as she rushed over to the two women. “Is dinner ready?” 

“Worked up a real appetite napping, Baby?” Jinki glared at his Mom as he walked toward the stove. 

“I’m a growing boy!” 

“You stopped growing a year ago.” Ma quipped up.

The breadstick was half in his mouth as he attempted to smile and retort. “Not my brain.” 

It took them a few minutes to set the table, get Junghee into her highchair and place the food between them before they could start eating. In the process of cleaning the table off first, Hyejoo lifted the mail they received that afternoon. “Do you want to open your letter?” 

Jinki carefully placed the stack of plates he was carrying onto the table, clearing his throat. “Oh, you saw that.” 

“We did.” Mom concluded.

“Can we wait until after dinner? That way if it’s bad I can eat my feelings in ice cream without feeling guilty.” 

“Ice cream!” Junghee happily giggled, breaking the tension in Jinki’s chest. 

“We can open it whenever you feel ready, Sweetie. Here, give me the plates.” 

\-----

Jinki got out of washing the dishes, but neatly stacked them in the sink for later, as he sat on the couch between his parents. Junghee was in the far corner playing with his old dollhouse they had gotten from the basement. He took a deep breath and ripped this thumb through the first part of the envelope and then the second, but didn’t pull the letter from it yet. His Mom squeezed his knee. “No matter what that says we are so proud of you, Baby.” 

One more deep breath, eyes closed tightly as he ripped it from the envelope. “I can’t read it.” 

He felt hands, slightly rough, move across his and the letter removed from his grasp. The sounds of paper rustling softly could be heard, but nothing was given away as the letter was read until his Ma spoke. “It seems we’ll be visiting Tennessee more often.” 

His eyes snapped open, breath hitching as he grabbed at the letter, and vision a little blurry as he read the words of acceptance. “I got in. Oh my god, I got in.” 

Jinki giggled, almost vibrating as he looked between his parents. His laughter was contagious, both women joining in his glee. His Mom kissed his cheek. “See, nothing to worry about.” 

But then his mood shifted, remembering Taemin and his reaction to the prospect of Jinki getting in. “Except how to break it to Taemin.”

“He should be happy for you. He knows how much you wanted to go right?” His Ma quietly asked. 

“He came over briefly earlier. Saw the letter and got angry. Stormed out and woke Junghee up.” He chewed his bottom lip for a moment before sighing. “I’m not even sure why it made him so angry. It’s not like I’d be gone forever or that I’d just stop talking to him.” 

“You’ve been a very consistent thing in Taemin’s life Baby. You’ve seen him almost every day for the last decade. You should just talk to him.” His Mom hugged him with one arm before standing, “Make sure he knows he’s important to you and that you won’t suddenly stop talking to him while you’re away.” 

“Now?” 

“I mean the longer you let him stew, the harder it will be to get through to him.”

Jinki pressed his lips together, knowing full well his Mom was right. “Fine. I’ll be home before curfew.” 

\------

There were only so many ways Taemin could organize his dancing awards before he ran out of acceptable displays on his shelf above the bed. He fell back onto his butt with a grunt. How dare Jinki think he could just go away and that it would be okay? Tennessee was multiple states away. It was more than an hour flight (he checked) and even longer driving (too long to go every weekend he figured). Of course, he had other friends. There was Jongin-who he spent a lot of time with-but while they were close, Jongin wasn’t Jinki. How could Jinki think he wasn’t needed? 

He knew he shouldn’t have stormed out like that or slammed the door. He also knew he probably woke Junghee up and that was very rude of him, but Jinki just acted as if everything would be okay when he moved away for the majority of the year. It was then that there was a quiet knock on his door and Jinki was stepping through a moment later. “Can I talk to you for a second?” 

“Are you going to yell at me for earlier?”

“You know I don’t yell Taeter.” Jinki closed the door by leaning back against it, hands behind him on the door. “I wish you hadn’t stormed off like that. What did that accomplish?”

“It showed you I was mad.” 

“I didn’t need that to know you were mad and hurt.” Jinki looked around the room for a moment before squinting at the shelf above Taemin. “Did you rearrange your awards?” 

“Yes.” 

Jinki sighed, lip pulled through his teeth as he pushed off the door. “I didn’t know I hurt you that badly. I don’t understand, Taeter. I’ve talked about going to Vanderbilt for years.” 

“So you got in?”

After sitting down at the end of the bed, Jinki nodded. “I did.”

“And you plan on going?”

“I do.”

Taemin twisted until his back was towards Jinki, feet pushed under his pillows. “Then there really isn't much to talk about.” 

“I beg to differ.” Jinki’s voice was warm and calm as it always was, but for some reason it made Taemin curl his fingers tighter around himself, annoyed. “You are my best friend Taemin. Distance isn’t going to change that.” 

“What if you find a different best friend or another girlfriend? You never wanted to hang out when you were with Hyo.” Taemin snipped, brow furrowed. “It’s in a big city with so many new things. You’ll forget me and all of this.”

“Oh, Taeter.” When Jinki touched his arm, Taemin didn’t move, not until the older boy softly requested. “Come on and look at me.” 

Slowly he did, finally looking up at Jinki with a frown, “What?”

“I won’t lie to you and say I will have all the time in the world for you. I’ll have harder classes and group projects and I will meet new people, but,” Jinki squeezed his knee. “If you think any of that will make me forget you... it hurts me that you think I value you so little.”

“It won’t be the same.”

“Things change and sometimes we don’t like how they have. I know I didn’t spend a lot of time with you when I was dating Hyoyeon, but I always made time for you. It wasn’t the same amount, but we made those afternoons great, didn’t we?” 

“I guess.” 

“You’re my Taeter. No one else can ever say that.” 

Taemin looked at his hands for a long while before hesitantly asking, “You won’t forget me?”

“I promise. I’ll be back for Christmas Breaks and Summers, and if you call me and I don’t answer I’ll always call you back.” Jinki grinned when Taemin looked up at him. “So, what do you say? Are you happy for me, Taeter?”

“I suppose, smarty pants.” 

Jinki was very quick to get him in the crook of his arm, rubbing his knuckles against the young boy’s scalp in a noogie. When Taemin eventually wiggled through he hollered and tackled Jinki back, both boys laughing as they wrestled.

\------

_ July 18th, 2007 _

Both of them could see the birthday party on the other side of the tall wooden fence from their spot in the treehouse, leaning out of the large window. Jinki had found the birthday boy up here a few minutes ago after he had gone missing from his own party. Taemin hummed when the older boy spoke. “Are you going to tell me why you’re up here instead of down there?”

Taemin shrugged as best he could without removing his elbows from the wood beneath them. “I needed to think.”

“What are we? A brooding main character in a Hollywood movie?” Jinki’s laughter stopped abruptly when he realized Taemin had lowered his gaze. “Hey, what’s wrong?” 

Then ever so softly Taemin replied, “I miss my Mom.” 

“Taemin-”

“Look I know I never knew her, but for some reason, my dumbass got my hopes up that this year would be the one she came to. My dad invited her for me and she didn’t show up.” Taemin’s eyes squeezed shut. “And I feel stupid, ya know because she’s never been in my life, but why do I want her here so badly? You’ve never had a Dad and you don’t want to know who gave that sperm sample.” 

“Taemin there is a big difference between our situations. I don’t feel like I’m missing something and that’s not me saying you’re Father isn’t a good one.” Jinki shifted a little to look fully at him, leaning his cheek against his fist, right elbow on the windowsill. “You shouldn’t feel stupid for wanting her to be here or wishing she wanted to be a part of your life, but I think you need to pinpoint why you’re feeling this way.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Why do you want her here so badly?”

“There’s this open ending to it all. All I have is what my Dad’s told me about her and what happened between them, but that doesn’t have anything to do with me and the relationship I want with her. Did she really give me up or did she just not want to be with my Dad?”

“How can I help you feel better about this, Taemin?” 

“I-” But then he really thought about it and it dawned on him. “Would you drive me to see her?”

Jinki blinked a few times at him. “What?”

“If I ask her and get it from her, it’ll be the closure I need. I just-” 

But then Taemin was being tugged into Jinki’s embrace. “I’ll do it if you really think it’s what you want.” 

\------

It didn’t take them long to find her using Myspace. She didn’t live that far away from them, just two counties over. Jinki thought it was best they tell someone where they were going, but Taemin didn’t want to be persuaded not to go. About an hour later they were sitting outside of her house in Jinki’s car, the soft rumble of the engine almost comforting, as Taemin stared out of the window. The house wasn’t that impressive, looking like most of the houses on the street, with a red-painted front door and a picket fence around the yard. “You don’t have to do this, Taemin. We can turn around and never talk about this.” 

He shook his head. “I have to.”

Jinki turned the car off and followed him out of the car, leaning against the hood with his arms crossed over his chest. Taemin walked toward the gate slowly. His hand was on the latch when they heard a child’s voice, “Mommy, there’s someone at the front gate.” 

It was as if Jinki’s heart was hooked with a lead weight, sinking in his chest rapidly as he watched the scene in front of him unfold. A woman, he recognized as Yoobin from the photos Taemin had shown him, came from the open garage, a child on her hip and another on a bike in the driveway. “Can I help you?”

He pushed off the car quickly, fingers curling around Taemin’s arm to tug him away, hissing, “Come on Taeter, let’s go.” 

“No I-” He ripped his arm from Jinki’s grip and squared his shoulders, “I’m Jaeho Lee’s Son.” 

Yoobin placed the child she was holding onto the ground, lips moving to say something neither of them could hear before she stepped closer. “Happy Birthday.”

Jinki was looking at Taemin’s face as it crumpled and that’s all it took for him to pull the young boy until he was behind him. “Go wait in the car Taemin.” 

“But-”

“I got this. Go wait in the Car.” He flashed a sweet smile until the boy turned. He waited until the door was closed before turning toward the woman. “How dare you.”

“Excuse me?”

“All this time you knew where he was, you got the invitations to his birthdays and you still didn’t reach out. How dare you!” Jinki half growled. “You gave him up because you weren’t ready to be a mother, huh? Well, it seems you’re really ready now. How old is the oldest? 12? You’re pathetic. I’d say I hope you regret your choices, but he doesn’t deserve the type of human being you are around him. Go fuck yourself.” 

Then without another word, he turned on his heel and got into the driver’s seat. They weren’t even at the stop sign on the corner when Taemin mumbled. “You didn’t have to do that.” 

“I sure as fuck did.” Jinki took a deep breath, eyes fluttering slightly as he tried to calm down. After glancing over at Taemin he finally smiled. “I’m sorry you saw me like that.” 

“It’s alright… thank you. I’m sorry I made you drive me out here.”

“I’m sorry you had to see that.” Jinki moved his right hand from the steering wheel to grab Taemin’s. “Hey you know I love you right?” 

“I love you too.”

“I know it’s hard, but remember you have a family that loves you. I love you. My sister adores you. You aren’t missing anything with her not being in your life. You’re amazing without her.” Jinki gave his hand a squeeze before asking, “Do you want to go get ice cream?”

Taemin chuckled as he wiped his eyes, “You always think ice cream will fix everything. I’m not five anymore.”

“Is that a no?”

“No. No, it’s not.”

Jinki grinned as he turned to the right toward the main road and the highway.

\-----

It was the night before Jinki was set to start the drive to Vanderbilt with his parents and sister. His suitcases were packed against the wall by the door, a box of things he wished to take with him, and his backpack full to the brim of his books needed for the upcoming semester. Taemin knew he probably should leave soon with how late it was becoming, but every time he thought about it, he changed his mind. 

This was the last time he’d be with Jinki in person until at least Christmas and he couldn’t force himself to cut it any shorter. He was laying alongside Jinki, head by his feet near the footboard, when he asked, “Do you believe in destiny?” 

Jinki coughed, laughter bubbling up quietly. “Jesus Christ. I did not expect that.”

He pushed up on his elbows, pouting slightly. “What?”

“Oh, you know, talking about philosophy at almost midnight.”

“I’m serious.”

With a grin, Jinki replied. “I know you are and I suppose so.”

He flopped back down onto the mattress, staring up at the plastic glow and the dark stars pressed onto Jinki’s ceiling. “Like, if Yoobin never gave me up to my Dad, we probably would have never moved next door when we did, and I probably never would have met you. I can’t picture a life not knowing you. It’s weird to even try to think about; all these things had to happen for me as a baby to move in next door and have this life.” 

“Whoa, slow down.” Jinki sat up against his pillows, patting Taemin’s feet next to him. “You’re going down a rabbit hole of existential crisis.”

“I was being all sentimental and you ruined it.” 

“I apologize.” Jinki returned Taemin’s gesture of a tongue sticking out before he shrugged. “Things happen for a reason. I was meant to have known you.”

“Thinking like that makes it seem like we’re destined to get married.” 

Jinki’s eyes crinkled awful cutely with his soft grin. “We still might, you never know. We’ve had an awful long engagement.” 

When he was four he hadn’t really understood the whole concept of what marriage was and what he was asking Jinki that afternoon up in the treehouse. A decade later and he understood a lot more. Problem was, he also wasn’t sure if his four-year-old self was wrong in his presumption to ask Jinki to marry him. “Don’t go and getting engaged to someone else with a ring pop.” 

“Shouldn’t I be worried about you Mr. Popular?” Taemin’s cheeks warmed up in Jinki’s gaze. “You’re the one going on dates.” 

With a little wiggling, Taemin sat up, legs crisscrossing in front of him. “It was one date and she even told me I suck at kissing so…”

“That’s rude. She’s what, 14? What does she know about what a good kiss is?” 

“I bet you don’t even know what a good kiss is.” He cursed himself mentally as soon as the words left his mouth. While for the last year he had caught himself lingering on Jinki’s lips, he didn’t want to focus too much on the topic of kissing. It was just a crush. One he knew wasn’t reciprocated, even a little. The sooner he got over it, the better things would be. 

Jinki scuffed. “Just give me a kiss and I’ll tell you if she’s wrong or not if it bothers you so much.” 

Taemin wasn’t thinking at all as he pushed forward, grabbing Jinki’s face and planting one on his lips. The older boy froze against the kiss before returning it briefly. Then Taemin’s thoughts caught up with his body and he pulled away quickly, falling back on his butt and trying to find anywhere to look than Jinki. “Sorry.” 

“It’s alright. I told you to.” Jinki cleared his throat thoroughly. “And you’re a fine kisser Taemin. She didn’t know what she was talking about.” 

As the light in the hall flickered on and the door opened the rest of the way, for once Taemin was grateful for the interruption. Standing there was Jinki’s Mom, “I know you probably want to hang out longer, but Jinki you really need to get to sleep soon.” 

“It’s alright Mom. I was just going.” Taemin quietly replied, untangling himself from the bed. Jinki gave him a long hug, “Don’t forget to text me!” 

“I won’t. Goodnight, Taeter.” 

“Bye, Jinnie.” 

The entire walk down the stairs and across the distance between their two homes, Taemin tried not to think about how much he liked the kiss, or that the kiss even happened to begin with. It was staring up at his own ceiling trying to sleep that the ache in his heart could be felt. Jinki was leaving in the morning. It felt more real somehow and Taemin didn’t like it one bit.

\-----

In the morning it wasn’t his alarm that woke Jinki up, but something crawling up onto his bed. It was either a demon or his sister, and being that he hadn't been eaten yet, he deemed it was his sister. Slowly opening his eyes, sure enough, there was Junghee with damp curls bouncing around her smiling face. “Jinnie!” 

“Good Morning, Pumpkin.” He pushed up onto an elbow, rubbing his eyes groggily. 

“Mommies said wake up.” 

He still didn’t understand how she had so much energy so early in the morning. “Did they?”

“Do my hair please.”

He heaved himself up fully, smiling softly as Junghee climbed into his lap. In her little hand was her choice of hair clips and two hair ties. “Pigtails?”

“Yes, please.” 

“Twist a little for me Pumpkin so I can braid the sides.” She first turned her head to the right for him. Once the sectioned hair was braided she held her hand up to hold up the ties for him before turning left to repeat the process. Once her hair was gathered in two pigtails, braids brought back to be tied with the rest of the hair, he added the butterfly clips to each side to keep the braids from moving. “All done.”

Junghee moved to give Jinki a kiss before grinning, climbing down the bed and skipping toward the door. “Coming Jinnie?” 

His blanket was tossed off his legs, slippers wiggled on his feet, and as he made his way through the door he scooped her up into his arms causing Junghee to giggle. 

\------

After getting settled in the dorm room Jinki had gone out to dinner with his family one last time before they had to catch their flight back home. While the food was really good, there was an uneasy feeling in his stomach the entire ride to the airport. It finally dawned on him he was feeling upset when both of his parents began to cry when they had to go through security. This was the first time he was going to be away from his family, from his home, and it wasn’t until he was watching them walk away, Junghee crying over their Mom’s shoulder that he fully dawned on him. He was alone in a huge, new city. 

His cell phone chirped as he drove back to his dorm building, but he waited until the car was parked in his assigned spot before sliding the phone open. They all were from Taemin it seemed. Jinki turned the car off and leaned back in his seat, reading each message thoroughly.

** :Taeter: ** Idk if ur there yet but I miss u.

** :Taeter:** N dont make fun of me. I know its not been a day yet

** :Taeter: ** I had my key in the lock b4 I realized

** :Taeter:** :C 

** :Jinki:** Just got back to the dorm. I miss u 2 Taeter.

** :Taeter:** What time is it there?

** :Jinki:** Ur only an hr behind

** :Taeter:** O do u have a rmate?

** :Jinki:** Supposed 2. Hes not here yet. But I gotta get inside. Ill tlk tmw ok? 

** :Taeter:** :C ok gn Jinnie

\-----

_ October 2007 _

Jinki tapped his fingers against his textbook, lifting his gaze slowly when he heard Kyuhyun say something. “Who’s Taeter?” 

It was then he noticed the ceramic heart that Taemin had made him in the older man’s hand. Jinki was up and out of his desk chair as soon as he recognized the object, ripping it from Kyuhyun’s grip. “If you didn’t touch my things, who Taeter is wouldn’t matter.” 

“Aw come on. It looks like a child made it.” 

“A child did make it,” Jinki grumbled, carefully putting it back beside his betta fish tank. 

“That’s cute.”

“You’re annoying.”

Kyuhyun grinned. “I’m entertaining.” 

Jinki flopped back into his chair, returning to taking notes for one of his three reports due soon. “If that’s what you call it.” 

\------

Kyuhyun was at some party again, which meant that Jinki could call instead of the usual text messages. “Hey, Taeter.”

_ “You sound tired. It’s not too late for you is it?” _

“Says the one whispering. I don’t want you to get into trouble Taeter.” 

“ _ You’re worth it.”  _ There was soft rustling through the phone before Taemin spoke again, “ _ Junghee has roped me into taking her trick or treating.” _

“What are you two going as?” 

There was a drawn-out sigh then, “ _ Peter Pan. Tights and all.”  _

Jinki tried to cover his mouth in time to stop his laughter, but some slipped past, the younger boy groaning through the phone at the sound of it. “You could tell her no. Especially if you had a party.”

_ “Nah, I don’t mind. She’s kind of too cute to refuse.”  _

He rolled over, facing the wall with the phone pressed into the pillow beneath his head. “Thanks though. Mom called and told me she was really upset I wasn’t going to be home for Halloween.” 

_ “Not to make you feel important or anything, but you are missed.”  _

“Me feeling important? Never.” His eyes were beginning to close, voice soft and hazy as sleep tugged at the edge of his consciousness. “Just over a month and a half left and I’ll be home.”

\-----

Jinki’s voice had shifted in a way that gave Taemin very conflicting feelings. The sleepier Jinki was and the fuzzier his voice sounded, the more Taemin felt his heartbeat in his chest. He thought that with the older boy hours away, this frustrating crush would wither away into nothing. Jinki being cute with his sleepy voice was NOT helping at all. Taemin hated him. How dare he. “You have your early class tomorrow, right?”

_ “Mmm yeah.”  _

“Then you should get some sleep.”

Jinki whined then.  _ Whined _ . Taemin wanted to curse him.  _ “But I wanted to talk to you.” _

“If you fall asleep you’ll never hear the end of it.” 

_ “I suppose the bed sounds nice.” _ Jinki yawned quietly, smacking his mouth a few times.  _ “Goodnight Taeter. Sorry to be sleepy.” _

“It’s okay. Sleep tight Jinki.” The call ended with a click then. Taemin dropped his phone, rolled over and screamed into his pillow, limbs flailing as best they could being face down on the bed. He lifted his head with a scowl, mumbling. “How dare he.” 

Just like plenty of other time over the last two or so months, Taemin thought about writing Jinki a letter and confessing his crush. The worst thing that could happen was that Jinki didn’t return his feelings. Their friendship would still be there right? And maybe harsh rejection was exactly what he needed to get over this infatuation with his best friend. Taemin bit his lower lip, gazing over at his desk and the stack of pretty paper Mom had given him in case he wanted to write Jinki a letter instead of just text messages. Something about it being more meaningful. Did she know he had a crush on her son? Taemin shook his head. Better not think about that and chicken out of this. 

He hadn’t realized his hands were shaking until he heard the paper rustling when he moved it closer. Grabbing a pen from the cup near the desk lamp, he began to write. Thinking too much about what to write or how to write it caused his hand to stop writing, so instead, he let his heart control what words were put on the paper. Finally, in the end, Taemin decided that Love wasn’t too much and folded the paper to be put into an envelope he still had to get from his Dad. Would Jinki respond? He wasn’t sure, but he had to tell him. Right?

The next morning the letter was in his hand, ready to be put in the mailbox and to flip the flag up before the mailman came through, but fear gripped his heart. What if Jinki stopped talking to him? What if Jinki didn’t even like boys? Taemin rushed upstairs to shove the stamped letter into the cardboard painted box under his bed, too scared to risk it.

\------

_ December 2007 _

As soon as Jinki stepped through the door into the kitchen from the garage, Junghee was colliding into him. He wobbled on his feet for a moment, putting his bag down on the ground to quickly scoop the girl up. “Hello to you too.”

“Missed you.”

She gave him a very wet kiss to his cheek, which he found a little gross, but he still smiled and bounced her onto his hip. “I missed you too, Pumpkin.” 

His Ma accepted his one-armed hug as he passed her to head into the living room where Junghee was pointing to, when the woman softly said, “Expect another collision once Taemin is home from school.” 

He glanced down at his watch before grimacing. “I should go sit down somewhere, huh?” 

\-----

Taemin shoved the groceries into their required areas, barely waiting for his Dad to deem it acceptable before he was sprinting out of the house to head next door. Jinki’s flight was supposed to land a few hours ago. He had to be home by now. Mom opened the door for him and without a word simply nodded her head in the direction of the living room. Taemin grinned. “Thanks.”

He kicked off his shoes, barely managed to get his coat on a hook, before he was sliding into the living room. Jinki was lounging in the recliner, feet up and arms behind his head. His gaze was slow to find Taemin, but he smiled so pretty when they met eyes. “Hi, Taeter.” 

“Jinki!” Taemin didn’t mean to launch at him or almost tip the entire chair over, but it had been months since he had seen his best friend. 

“Umph.” Jinki panted as his hands rushed to grab Taemin somewhere to slow down his body. When he spoke again he wheezed, “It’s good to see you too.”

Taemin fell into the small space between Jinki and the arm of the chair, grinning up a storm. “You’re off for a month, right?” 

“Yeah.”

“Good you owe me a snowman.”

Chuckling, Jinki quipped. “Doesn’t take a month to build a snowman.” 

Taemin was a little selfish and leaned into the one-arm embrace Jinki had him in. “More time for snacks between.” 

Jinki breathed deeply against him, left hand a little tighter around him. Neither moved until they were told dinner was ready. Jinki’s favorites for his birthday that had passed the prior weekend. 

\------

_ November 2009 _

Jinki enjoyed living in the dorm. It was close to the main campus and other students to study. Kyuhyun was even a decent roommate. He cleaned up after himself and let Jinki have some of the snacks his parents sent him in the mail monthly. Problem was that it also allowed being closer to parties, alcohol and loud noises which were not very good for studying. Moving out was an option, but that also meant he’d have to live in Nashville for more than what he was at the dorm. There was no point in renting an apartment for eight months out of the year. That had its own issues. He’d have to get a more steady job, talk to his parents about the options, and maybe even go down in credit hours come Fall. 

It also meant not seeing his family during Summer break or for all of Winter break and he missed them enough as it was. He also knew that flying back right now was expensive. Either way, he couldn’t rely on his parents as much as he had. Maybe he could ask Kibum if he wished to move out of the dorms with him. That’d cut the rent in half and Kibum seemed like the type to be a good roommate. The dorm room he shared with Minho was clean enough, except the pile of clothes on his desk. 

Jinki’s gaze lifted to the upper shelf of his desk where he had a few framed photos. One was of him, Junghee and their moms. The one to the right was Oli. And the one on the far left was him and Taemin the summer before he left for college. Taemin. Moving here on a more permanent basis would not go over well with the younger boy. He had disliked the eight months. Jinki wasn’t sure how he’d take the news of not having summer breaks anymore or cocoa after snowmen like they had done every Christmas since the boy was three. 

He sighed and closed his chemistry book. His mind was too jumbled up to focus on conversion equations.

\-------

_ July 2010 _

Taemin still wasn’t talking to him two weeks after telling him that starting in August Jinki would be living in Nashville the majority of the time, missing his breaks back at home. Jinki tried not to think of the boy too long or the ache in his chest returned. He was supposed to be excited about having his first apartment. Sure, he’d be sharing with two other men, but he had saved up his paychecks all year to help put his share of the first and last month's rent down. He felt more like an adult, independent, and that made him feel good about himself. Taemin being upset with him just put a damper on everything. 

Most of Jinki’s things were packed in boxes. He’d drive them back at the beginning of August and anything else he thought he needed, but couldn’t fit, his parents agreed to mail it to him in the next coming months. Junghee was just as upset, but she was only five and getting her to forgive him took very little. He promised to skype her whenever he had time. Taemin hadn’t even given him the chance to offer such a thing.

He glanced over at the gift bag on his desk with a frown. It was the last birthday he’d be here in person to share with Taemin for some time and the boy was too upset with him to even answer his happy birthday text message. Jinki hadn’t seen him since he walked out of the backyard gate, anger and hurt visible in his narrow shoulders. After a deep breath, he decided it was time to suck it up and face the music. Either Taemin would talk to him and accept the gift, or he’d be too stubborn and ignore him. He grabbed the gift quickly and headed downstairs. Everyone was out of the house for the afternoon, so he locked the door after him, taking the way next door without looking up. 

He froze halfway up the front porch steps when he finally looked up to see Taemin sitting on the chair. “Hi, Taeter.” 

“Hey, Jinki.”

Alright, that’s not a good sign. “I came over to give you your gift.”

\-----

Jinki was infuriating. Taemin understood that college was important and that Jinki being happy where he was attending was just as important, but why did that have to include him moving to Nashville on a more permanent basis? He didn’t understand it one bit. “You didn’t have to get me anything.”

“Always do. That’ll never change.” 

Taemin wasn’t sure if he was angry at Jinki for wanting to move there or angry at himself for thinking he had a say in what the older boy did at all. They were friends and even if they were more it wasn’t his place to stand between Jinki and his dreams. Taemin’s initial thought that the distance would squash this pesky crush had been proven terribly wrong. Jinki kept returning for breaks sun-kissed and with longer hair, and it wasn’t good for the  _ ‘crush this crush’ _ plan of his. The older boy’s growing confidence in his body and the sleeveless shirts he’s sported frequently have also been a pain in Taemin’s ass. “Well I guess, give it here.”

Jinki gave a pretty smile as he stepped fully onto the porch and over to sit in the chair beside him, gift bag dropped in his hands. “It’s a little rude to not accept a gift.” 

There was blue tissue paper crinkled out of the top of the bag. Taemin moved it out of the way gently before lifting the box at the bottom. He held the bag between his feet to make sure it didn’t blow away in the breeze as he flipped the present over to look at it. “You got me a webcam?” 

“I know you’re upset that I’m moving. I thought it’d help a little bit if you could see me when we talk.” Jinki softly laid his hand on Taemin’s right knee. “I haven’t had much time trying to work and get good grades, but at least with skype I can have you on while I study. I don’t want to leave in a few weeks with you being angry at me.”

“I’m not angry at you.” Taemin sighed. “That’d be silly of me. I look forward to you coming home. You always would come home and now it’s up in the air. You don’t even know when you’ll be back home.”

“The plane tickets are really expensive Taemin and the dorm wasn’t allowing me to focus on my studies. The apartment will.” He squeezed Taemin’s knee gently. “I will be back home. I miss you all terribly when I’m away. And because I have my own place, and you’re older, you can always ask if you can come to visit.”

Taemin felt his heartbeat quicken slightly. “You’d want me to visit?” 

That smile should be illegal he deemed as Jinki replied, “Of course! I could show you around the city. We could take a drive and go to Memphis during the summer if you’d like. They have pandas.”

“Really?”

“You’d just have to ask your Dad.” 

\-------

_ March 2011 _

Getting on the plane for the first time he could remember and alone had been very nerve-wracking for Taemin, but an entire week with Jinki was waiting for him when he landed. That alone helped him get over his anxiety of flying. It had taken him a while to get half of the money to pay for the round trip tickets. 

He wasn’t exactly sure where he was going, but he followed the majority of the crowd and eventually he saw Jinki standing in the middle of the hallway. The way Jinki’s face brightened when they caught eyes made Taemin trip a little on the carpet and a blush to spread on his cheeks. It deepened as the older boy tugged him into a tight hug right off the bat, “I’m so happy you’re here.” 

“Me too. I’ve missed you.”

“You’ve grown. I don’t like it.” Jinki’s frown disappeared as he laid an arm over Taemin’s shoulders. “You must be starving.”

“I had pretzels on the plane.”

With a scoff, Jinki let him out of the airport and towards his car. “I’m going to take you for real food, Taeter and then we’ll head to the apartment to get you settled.” 

\------

By the shoes placed in the bins by the door both of his roommates were home. Taemin was hovering just inside the door, his own shoes held in his hands. After putting his keys on his hook, Jinki patted a bin, “You can put yours here, Taeter.” 

“Do you have Asian roommates?” He eyed the stack of bins neatly placed against the wall full of different shoes.

Jinki snorted as he dropped a pair of slippers onto the ground for Taemin to wear. “I do. Their parents are Korean too.” 

They were walking through the living room toward the bedrooms when the first on the right opened and standing there was Kibum, blond buzzed hair and lip piercings. The man grinned. “Is this our little visiter?” 

“This is Taemin.” Jinki’s hand was on the middle of the boy’s back as he introduced his roommate to him. “And this obnoxious person is Kibum.”

“You’re adorable.” 

“Off-limits Mr. Bedpost.” Jinki pressed his lips together before turning them away from the door toward the closed door at the very end of the hallway. “Yes, he’s the roommate that’ll get you into trouble so just ignore him.” 

“He seems cool.”

“That’s the lip rings talking.” Jinki pushed open the door. “It’s not much, but it’s home.” 

“OLI.” 

Jinki softly closed the door behind him, leaning against it with a fond smile as he watched Taemin rush toward the half-awake Corgi on the bed. “I was going to ask if you wanted to get settled a little and whether you wanted to sleep on the couch or the bed… but it seems I’m outranked by the dog yet again.” 

“Not outranked.” Taemin giggled as Oli lapped at his face. “Okay, maybe a little.” 

“He needs a walk.” As soon as the word was out of his mouth Oli’s head popped up, brown gaze deadset on Jinki who snorted. “Do you want to come with?” 

“And stay here with the roommate you said was bad? No.” The leash was already being thrown on the bed to the right of Taemin before the boy had finished. 

\------

Taemin had a bit of his ice cream left when they returned home. Oli was gently let off his leash before Jinki went into the kitchen to get a drink of water. It took him a moment to notice what was on the small kitchen island until he was already drinking from a glass, lowering it slightly confused. The vase of roses hadn’t been there when they left. Jinki had his fingers brushing across the petals, moving toward the small card when Taemin whistled. “Who’s bae got them flowers?” 

“Please don’t say, bae.” He half groaned before flipping the card over and warmth filled his chest. “Me. Mine did.” 

_ I know you have your childhood friend this week, but I wanted to make sure you know I was thinking about you ~ James  _

“You’re dating someone?” Taemin weakly asked as he picked up the discarded card on the counter. “Who’s James?”

Jinki smiled over the roses, “The man I’ve been dating for the last three months or so.” 

“Wait- You’re gay?”

“Bi, but basically.” Jinki pulled his phone out sending a quick thank you to the man before putting the device back into his pocket with a smile. “You still want to meet Minho?” 

But Taemin was frowning, gaze still on the small card held between his fingers. “Why didn’t you say something?” 

“Mom and Ma always told me my sexuality wasn’t something I needed to address publically.” Jinki shrugged as the boy looked up at him. “If I came home with a boy they’d treat it as if I brought a girl. You know how they hate the way gay people are expected to come out.” 

“But I thought you’d tell me at least.” 

The tone of Taemin’s voice gave Jinki pause. He had known the boy so long he knew what that tone was associated with. He was upset. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. My dating isn’t going to interfere with our week. I’m all yours until you step foot on that plane on Sunday evening. Come on. Minho is very excited to meet you.”

\------

Jinki didn’t get it. He never got it. All Taemin could think about was the letter he never sent spelling out his feelings, all because he had been afraid Jinki didn’t like boys. Now he knew that fear had been stupid. The what-ifs kept running through his mind as he followed Jinki through the apartment again toward the door on the left side of the hallway. Minho was a lot different than Kibum. His room smelled like vanilla bean. He was slightly taller, brown hair flopped over his forehead, and a sweet smile as he pulled Taemin into a hug. While Minho was very sweet, Taemin was relieved when the man said he needed to get to bed.

Following Jinki back into his bedroom, his thoughts were so clouded he barely noticed he was being talked to until his arm was squeezed. “Taeter, you okay?” 

He flashed a little smile. “I think I’m just tired.” 

“Oh, alright. Well, I think you should take the bed. Kibum sometimes has... Friends over and I don’t want you on the couch if they’re leaving in the middle of the night.”

As much as he was infuriated with Jinki, Taemin wasn’t about to kick him out of his own bed. “You don’t have to sleep out there. It’s not like we haven’t shared a bed before.”

“We also are a lot bigger than we were as children.” 

“Speak for yourself.” 

Jinki glared before a pillow was launched at him, smacking Taemin straight in the face. “Are you insinuating I got big?” 

He stuck his tongue out. “Mr. Woman’s pants.” 

“Rude.” 

Taemin grinned, feeling more light than he had before the roses. “So I call left side.”

“Taeter that’s my-” But he had already launched himself onto the mattress, taking the bed hostage under his body. Grinning up at Jinki as he hugged a pillow to his chest. He saw Jinki sigh, “Fine. You can have it.” 

“I’m glad we’re on the same page.” 

\------

The clock on the nightstand blinked at him. 2:30 in the morning in bright blue numbers. Jinki was fast asleep beside him, curled up facing the closet. No matter what Taemin did, counting sheep, tossing and turning, sleep seemed just out of reach. He had been looking forward to spending his spring break with Jinki after so long of not seeing him besides over a computer screen. It wasn’t as if Taemin expected him to not date or to have people that were interested in him. Jinki was very attractive and had a great personality. It wasn’t that he thought he had a claim on Jinki that meant something. Maybe he did, but he also knew that it was wrong and how could you have a claim on someone that didn’t even know your romantic feelings existed?

James had called him Jinki’s childhood friend. For some reason that hurt even if Jinki introduced him like that to many people, they had seen throughout the day today. The sooner he got it through his head that being his friend was all that he’d ever be to Jinki, the better it would be. The problem was for the last few years Taemin had told himself to get over his crush. All that had amounted to was the crush morphing to this, the shift of platonic love to something more. 

With one last sigh Taemin turned over, as far to his side of the bed as he could. Hopefully, their drive to Memphis to go to the zoo would help distract him from his menacing thoughts.

\------

Jinki was very aware of the limbs wrapped around him as he woke up, but it took his mind a moment to connect it to Taemin. Trying not to move too much, he turned his head to see the mop of the boy’s hair pressed into his back. One slight movement and Jinki would be tumbling from the edge of the bed. It was like their sleepovers as children all over again. Taemin being a tiny twig and taking up 95 percent of the bed. He was also aware that the boy had trouble falling asleep the night before from all the tossing and turning felt throughout the night. A few more minutes wouldn’t ruin the drive ahead of them. He’d let Taemin get his sleep, even if it meant being a koala against his back. 

\------

Taemin had downed that cotton candy in a blink of an eye and Jinki was starting to wonder if the boy might have a tapeworm or something. Sure it had been about a year and a half, almost two since he had seen the boy in person, but Jesus Christ. Two ice creams, a soft pretzel, a hamburger and a thing of carmel corn later, and Taemin was still munching on the can of peanuts they had brought in Jinki’s backpack. “Pandas are next.”

The glee on Taemin’s face sidetracked Jinki’s food-related worries for the moment. “Hopefully they’re out.” 

“Hopefully. The last time I was here one panda pooped on the other's head.” 

Jinki snorted as Taemin stopped tossing nuts into his mouth. “That’s gross. Why would you tell me that?”

“It looked like a lemon.” 

“You’re gross I’m leaving.” Taemin was a few steps away from him before he stopped and turned around. “Well, not entirely. You’re my ride back.” 

“Like  _ you’d _ want to leave me permanently.” Jinki bridged the distance between them, hooking their arms at the elbows. “If you’re a good boy I may buy you a souvenir.” 

Taemin let out a little whine. “I’m not a child.”

Forty minutes and a look around the gift shop later and Jinki was holding a bag full of things Taemin had picked out. The plushie not included for it was in the boy’s arms. Jinki sighed fondly. “No child in sight, right? 

He got a tongue sticking out in reply.

\-----

Jinki had run down to the local pizza place to get dinner for them which left Taemin in the capable hands of Minho. Kibum was also there, but he was a little intimidating sitting on the couch in his fluffy robe and holding his teacup full of wine. His hair was a pink color now and Taemin had noticed the tattoo on the top of his foot as it swung in the air when the man had crossed his legs. Minho had left him alone with Kibum to go into the adjoined kitchen for another beer. Taemin jumped when Kibum spoke to him. “So what are the kids up to these days?”

“You’re like two years old than me.” 

“Experience adds years onto you, honey.” Kibum put his cup on the table in front of them before leaning back again, arms up on the back of the couch. “Have any embarrassing stories about Jinki I can use as blackmail later?”

“I do,” The glee on the man’s face was short-lived though as Taemin continued, “But I won’t tell you them.” 

“You’re no fun.”

Minho chirped up as he came back into the room, beer neck loosely held in his hand. “He’s off-limits for your type of fun, Bum.” 

Taemin ignored that to look at the beer, “Can I have one?” 

“That’s something to ask Jinki Squirt.” Was Minho’s soft reply. “The only time I’ve ever seen him remotely angry was when Kibum called you cute from your picture. Doubt he’d like it if we gave you a beer at 17.” 

“What about you Kibum? You’re supposed to be the bad roommate.”

Said man snorted. “I’m not messing with Jinki’s Taeter. I learned my lesson.” 

Taemin slouched in the couch, arms over his chest. “You both suck.” 

Kibum winked. “Sure do.” 

\------

He hadn’t expected the world to end by leaving Taemin with his two roommates, but Jinki also hadn’t expected to come back to the boy pouting over not being allowed a beer. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” 

“One beer won’t hurt!”

“It’ll hurt me if your dad or Mom and Ma find out.”

Taemin was putting on his best puppy eyes he could muster and Jinki was sad to admit it may be working. “You let  _ them _ drink before  _ their _ 21.”

“I am not looking after them like I am you.” He opened the two pizza boxes to grab a few and hand it to Taemin. “Your Dad trusted me to make sure you were okay. I don’t feel right letting you drink Taeter. I’m sorry.” 

“You’re no fun.” He huffed.

Jinki was grumbling not even twenty minutes later as he let Taemin have a sip of his beer. It appeased the boy enough as he stopped pouting.

\-----

Saying goodbye to Taemin was hard. The last week had been really fun and spending so much time with him brought so many happy memories back. It felt like old times, like things hadn’t changed so much like they usually seemed. But all good things must end eventually, and it just happened theirs ended in an airport right before the beginning of the security line. Spring break for the both of them was over and life had to resume. Jinki held Taemin close for a while before letting him go. “This isn’t goodbye, Taeter. I’ll be at your graduation in June.” 

“You promise?”

“If everything works out, I do.” He glanced down at his watch before pressing his lips together and gripping Taemin’s hand. “You have your ticket and I.D right?”

“Check and Check.”

“And your wallet?”

“In the inside pocket right where I left it.”

“Good. Good.” Jinki sighed before putting on a smile. “Text me when you land, alright?” 

“I will. Thanks for this week. It meant a lot.” Taemin was rocking on his feet as if in a moment a large breeze would knock him completely over. 

“You should get going. Just in case you have trouble finding your gate.”

“Alright, talk to you later, Jinki.” But Taemin didn’t move to leave, just stood there staring at his face as if it were the last time he’d see it. Then in a blink of an eye, the boy was stepping closer and pressing a kiss to Jinki’s lips. As quick as it began, it stopped. Taemin turning abruptly on his heel and entering the security line, leaving Jinki breathless and confused with a single thought in his head. What the fuck was that? 

\-----

Taemin did text him when he landed, but the short message didn’t address what the kiss was or any of Jinki’s already sent questions. Sure they had kissed before. As children all the time on the cheek and then once on the lips before he had gone off to college. Those he could explain away. This? Having one planted on him out of the blue in the middle of the airport? No, that couldn’t be explained away by any reason he could think of. 

He tried a few more times, even tried to call, but everything was ignored. Jinki pressed his lips together before flopping back on his mattress, phone slipping from his fingers as his hand bounced against the bed. Everything was confusing and Jinki didn’t like it one bit. 

\-----

Should he have kissed Jinki? No. Had he really wanted to? Yes. It might not have been the best plan of action to randomly kiss your best friend of over a decade and then run off to get on a plane with no explanation, but in Taemin’s defense, he hadn’t really been thinking. Jinki had sent him a dozen messages asking what that was about and if he could explain. A part of Taemin wanted to do just that, tell the older boy that the kiss was because he loved him and wanted to be with him. Problem was the guilt of knowing to have such a conversation was wrong when Jinki was with someone stopped Taemin from addressing the issue completely.

Confessing his feelings to Jinki was in a way forcing the other to think about his feelings for his boyfriend and Taemin. And if Taemin really loved him, he shouldn’t force that on him at all. So instead, he avoided all conversation about the topic and hoped Jinki would get tired of demanding answers and give up. 

\------

_ June 2011 _

Jinki wasn’t sure how Taemin had managed to avoid him the last couple weeks. Every time he had tried to go over to the younger man’s house to try and talk with him, he wasn’t home. Every text concerning the topic was ignored. Eventually, Jinki figured it was time to let it drop. If that is what Taemin wanted he wouldn’t push it. In two weeks he’d be flying back to Nashville to get ready for his first year of being a full-time teacher as well as taking his first year of graduate school classes concurrently. Why did it matter if Taemin kissed him? Maybe he meant it as they did as children and it was Jinki making a bigger deal of it than it needed to be?

Yeah, that explained it. Jinki shook his head and focused back on watching the stage as Taemin got closer to the front of the line. When his name was called Jinki stood, clapping loudly as Taemin crossed the stage to get his diploma. Maybe things hadn’t really changed at all and he was just overthinking things as usual.

\------


	3. Chapter 3

_ June 2014 _

Jinki’s hands gently shook as he tried to grip the gas pump steadily. There were only a hundred more miles until he reached his childhood home, which should bring comfort to his nerves. Except, Jinki felt embarrassed and ashamed to return home after just that Christmas he had gone back home with James, a ring on his finger. How that happiness had been shattered in less than a full three months he wasn’t sure. Somewhere along there, James thought it would be a good idea to throw the life they had built together into the flames and cheat on him with some wannabe country singer. 

Once the prepaid amount of gas was finished he put the nozzle back, twisted the cap and slid into the driver’s seat. Oli lifted his head slightly from his bed on the passenger seat but relaxed once again as Jinki ran a hand over his greying face. “We’re almost home, Bubs.” 

At twenty-four Jinki hadn’t expected to be driving back home to his parents' house. His relationship burned into ash and the life he had built for almost 7 years in Nashville along with it. He would have been home sooner, but he didn’t want to leave his Kiddos in the middle of the school year. Dealing with James and his endless apologies had been exhausting, but luckily Kibum had no problem giving the man a piece of his mind anytime he came around his apartment where Jinki had been crashing at for the last four months. Calling his parents and crumbling to tears hadn’t been the highlight of his life, but he was looking forward to being in the safety of home. He missed his moms and little sister. He could maybe hang out with Taemin again in person after all these years. 

He put the car into drive and pulled from the gas pump, the setting sun illuminating the sky behind him in oranges and purples.

\------

The sun had set completely by the time he pulled into the driveway. Most of the lights of the house were off, but he could hear voices coming from the backyard. Jinki scooped Oli up into his arms, huffing at how heavy the dog had gotten, and walked toward the side gate. As soon as it was closed again he let Oli down and followed after him as he lopped along further into the grass. Jinki rounded the corner to immediately have his sister launch herself at him with a squeal. Somehow she had gotten bigger in the six months since Christmas. “Hey, Pumpkin.” 

“I’m so happy you’re home.” 

She pressed a kiss to his cheek before Jinki let her back down. “Me too. It’s good to be home.” 

The slight grey in both of his parents’ hair gave him pause, but he quickly realized they were both in their forties now. Of course, they’d start going grey. “We’ve missed you, Baby.”

“Wish I was home for better circumstances.” He half grumbled.

“James is a butthead,” Junghee concluded, arms crossed over her chest and scowl on her face. “An ugly, can’t handle spice butthead.”

Jinki chuckled, “You’re right. He is a butthead.” 

\-----

The summer heat was just bearable, only so by the breeze rolling through. He had sent out application after application for a job come August, but nothing had been heard from any of them. While he could stress about being unemployed, Jinki decided that wouldn’t do him any good. Instead, he’d sit on this front porch and enjoy the nice summer afternoon. He had a good book, a glass of lemonade with a pitcher for refills in the kitchen, and time to spare. He looked up slowly when he heard someone calling his name. Through the haze of the heat beating down, he squinted to see a man jogging up the front path. He almost choked on his lemonade when he realized it was Taemin. 

Gone was the scrawny little boy he had last seen a few years ago. He was still slim, but there were muscles on his body that didn’t use to be there. His hair was pushed off his forehead, sweat dripping off his nose as he grinned. “I didn’t know you were coming home.”

Jinki cleared his throat, closing his book and trying to wipe his chin of liquid as he grumbled. “I wasn’t planning on it honestly.” 

“It’s really good to see you!” Taemin had his fingers in the front pockets of his shorts, white t-shirt clinging to his damp torso. “I have to get back to unloading my car, but we should do something later. Catch up on things left out of texts alright?” 

“Sounds great Taeter.”

Taemin’s face scrunched a little before he was laughing and turning to leave. Jinki gazed at him leaving, trying to figure out what this new fuzzy feeling in his chest was when he looked at the man. 

\-----

The interior to the local Chinese restaurant they’d always go to when they were kids hadn't changed one bit. It was odd having Taemin drive him somewhere, but the younger man had asked him out for dinner and had been very excited to take his car. “Did James come with you?” 

Jinki swallowed his coke slowly, moving his noodles around with his chopsticks and avoiding Taemin’s gaze. “There isn’t a James anymore.” 

“What does that mean?”

“Minho and Kibum were out for drinks, being each other’s wingman on the weekend before Valentine’s Day... and they saw James making out with some other guy.” He gently laid his chopsticks against the plate and let his hands fall to his lap under the table with a soft shrug. “I stayed to finish the school year and, here I am; at home and unwanted.”

“That asshole!” Taemin hissed too loudly. When Jinki snapped his head up the other customers in the restaurant were looking at them. “How dare he do that to you!” 

“Please quiet down. Everyone is looking at us.”

“Oh shit, my bad.” Taemin’s cheeks tinted pink for a moment. “How are you doing?”

“As well as can be expected. I’m unemployed, single and a mess.” He shook his head before taking a drink of his coke, forcing a smile to ask. “You still dating that dancer you met a few months ago?”

“Jimin? Yeah. I just got back from a little vacation after our junior year.” Taemin stopped mid-motion to shove food into his mouth. “Fuck. I’m sorry.” 

Jinki smiled softly, wanting nothing more than to crumble into himself. “Don’t hide how happy you are because my love life is up in flames. Talk about him all you want.”

By the end of the night, Jinki regretted telling him that immensely. 

\-------

_ July 2014 _

It was obvious in the pretty lights of the backyard patio that Taemin had drunk a little too much alcohol to celebrate his 21st birthday. His skin was flushed, giggles loud and continuous, and his usual smooth movements were choppy and erratic. Jinki didn’t know many people here. He knew Jongin and Taemin’s Dad, but since his parents had left with Junghee a few hours ago that was about it. Taemin was dancing (loosely used) with his boyfriend. Jimin seemed nice enough from the limited interaction Jinki had with him earlier in the night. Taemin seemed happy with him and that should be enough for Jinki, but gazing at the pair across the way made his stomach twist in uncomfortable knots. 

The sensation and emotions were confusing to decipher. It felt a little bit like jealousy, but what could he be jealous of? Was it the relationship that Taemin had and if it was, was it because his own had fallen to ash or something else? Was he jealous of Taemin being with someone else? Someone that… no. That couldn’t be it. Taemin was his friend, his best friend no matter the distance between them physically. He couldn’t be jealous of Jimin having Taemin because that would mean he liked his friend for more than what he should. Which was wrong for two things. 1. He had watched Taemin grow up he shouldn’t be attracted to him. 2.- Wait did he find Taemin attractive?

With that alarming thought, Jinki downed his beer and turned to leave without even saying goodbye to Taemin.

\-------

_ October 2014 _

Jinki had found working with a few of his old teachers a little odd at first, but a few months in that uneasy feeling had disappeared. He loved his students and having something to focus his mind on. It gave him time to fully heal his heart in a way sitting in his bedroom for hours on end did not allow. He also had managed to convince himself that his weird brewing feelings for Taemin were caused by the delirium of severe heartbreak and too much beer. It helped that the man had returned for his senior year of college and was no longer around in person to pester Jinki’s tangled emotions. 

He still got texts from Taemin all the time and phone calls every so often. There was a showcase in the middle of December Jinki had been invited to. While he wanted to go and see Taemin dance the invitation included the flyer for it which said it was a duet performance between the younger man and Jimin. If he didn’t go he could blissfully believe his heartache and beer hypothesis. If he did go and he still felt the twisting feelings of jealousy than he’d have to address it more directly. Jinki wasn’t sure if he was ready to accept he may actually like Taemin in a more romantic sense. 

His brooding thoughts were interrupted as the final bell rang and it was time to begin class.

\-----

_ December 2014 _

There was something in the way Taemin danced that was powerful, yet elegant. The years had only allowed his talent to grow, bloom into something incredibly beautiful. Jinki hated to admit that Jimin was also a very good dancer and took most of the intermission to make himself get the fuck over it. He was now 25 for God's sake. He should be happy for his friend to have found someone involved with something they loved so much. This jealousy bullshit should have been left in high school. If only his heart would get with the damn program. 

He waited outside the auditorium with a rose twirling between his fingers. Taemin’s Dad couldn’t make it, so he was the young man’s support system for the night. He was picking some lint from his suit jacket when he heard his name. Jinki looked up just as Taemin collided with him, arms wrapping tightly around him. “I’m so happy you came.” 

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Jinki cleared his throat as Taemin pulled away, before offering the single peach rose. “I figured a dozen would be overdoing it.” 

Taemin was awfully pretty as his eyes fluttered shut, smelling the rose as the petals brushed against his nose. His hair was pushed back and damp, curling a little around his temples. His stage outfit had been taken off, replaced with a hoodie Jinki recognized as one of his own the man had taken a few months ago, and a pair of sweatpants. “It’s beautiful thank you.” 

“You danced beautifully. You’ve gotten so good, Taeter.” 

Taemin as always brightened in the praise, but Jinki’s heart fell a little as the man’s attention shifted behind him. Following him, Jinki realized why he had looked away. Jimin. He forced a smile as the man stepped closer and wrapped an arm around Taemin’s waist. Jimin’s gaze fell on Jinki slowly. “You must be very important. He never lets me call him Taeter.” 

“I gave him the name.” 

“Oh! You’re that Jinki.” Jimin chuckled as Taemin elbowed him in the side. “He never shuts up about you. Jinki this and Jinki that.”

“Does he?” He asked with a raised brow.

“Yeah. Thought his childhood crush was still a thing, but he tells me it isn’t.”

“Jinmin!” Taemin hissed.

“What?”

Jinki cleared his throat. “I didn’t know about the mm crush thing.” 

Jinmin blanched for a moment. “Oh. I’m sorry, Babe.” 

Taemin was redder than Jinki had ever seen him as he cleared his throat. “We better head back in. Are you staying in town for the night?”

“Yeah.” 

“I’ll text you, maybe we can go get drinks or something.” Taemin stepped forward to give Jinki a soft hug and a light kiss on the cheek. “Thank you for coming. Really.” 

“It was a pleasure, Taeter.” Before the man walked away Jinki gently squeezed his hand.

\------

Almost two hours later and half a bottle of whiskey, and a few shots each and they found themselves lying at opposite ends of Jinki’s hotel bed, staring up at the ceiling. “Do you ever like, think of the universe?”

“I’m too drunk for deep shit, Taeter.” 

Taemin giggled, rolling onto his side to look at Jinki properly. “Like of all the people to meet we met!” 

“We had this conversation like eight years ago.” Jinki pinched his nose as he sat up more against the headboard. “Holy shit I’m old.” 

“Not that old. You’re still hot.” 

“Good to know 25 isn’t too old. Thanks.” Jinki reached over to take a swig of his beer, swallowing before fixing his eyes on Taemin in the swirling of the room. “So you had a crush on me, huh? Is that why you kissed me?” 

“Which time?”

“Both.” 

“Kind of yeah.” Taemin belched loudly, hand to his mouth before he grinned with an apology. “You really had no fucking clue?” 

“Not really.” Taemin was about to say something, but then he was up and running over Jinki’s legs toward the bathroom, the sound of puking echoing slightly. Jinki wrinkled his nose before managing to swing his legs over the side of the bed and reach for his backpack as he wobbled slightly. He squinted to decipher the bottle, but deeming it ibuprofen slammed it on the table next to the bottles of water they had bought from the vending machine down the hall. Something told him in his fogged as shit mind they’d need that in the morning. Taemin stumbled into the room, leaning heavily onto the wall. “I think it’s time for bed.”

“I thought puking came the morning after.” 

“You must be very drunk.”

Taemin barely got out a yeah before he face-planted onto the mattress, fully clothed. 

\-----

In the morning, Taemin’s head hurt so bad it seemed each throb had an echo. He pushed off the piece of furniture under him, eyes squinting as the bright light bombarded his senses. There was a painful groan to his left and through his half-open eyes, he recognized it as Jinki. “How fucked up did we get last night?” 

“Too fucked up,” Jinki grunted as he pushed up off the bed, smacking his hand around blindly for the table until he finally curled his fingers around a bottle of water. The cap was tossed next to him as he took a big gulp, looking at Taemin with one eye. “I don’t remember a thing.” 

“Me either.” First things first Taemin pulled the curtains closed, cursing the sun for existing. The second was getting some water and taking a painkiller. The third was going to piss because he really had to go all of a sudden. “What time is it?”

“A little past nine I think?” 

“Fuck.” No wonder his phone was ringing nonstop, the light flashing blue. He stumbled over his shoes to grab his phone he miraculously remembered to put on the charger. 

“Got hot plans?”

“I was supposed to have breakfast with Jimin at nine.” 

“Oh.” Jinki hummed around the top of his bottle, glancing over at him before taking a swig. “I don’t think you should drive yet. You aren’t fully sober.” 

“I’m sober enough.”

“No such thing. You’re either sober or not.” Jinki managed to grab the car keys on the bedside table before Taemin could get around the bed. “I get it, he’s important, but I’m not letting you leave yet.”

“Give me my keys.” 

“No.” Jinki put his bottle down quickly, hand coming up to stop Taemin by the head as he rushed forward.

Taemin flung his arms around, hating how this reminded him of when they were kids. “Fuck you, give me them.” 

Jinki just smacked his lips. “No.” 

“Come on!” With a whine, Taemin gave one last big push of effort before sagging against Jinki’s hand. “How are you so strong? What the fuck.”

“Please calm down.”

“He’s gonna be so mad.”

“Better him have a chance to be mad at you than there to not be you at all.”

Taemin allowed the man to push him back onto the bed, shoulders slouching and head hanging. “I never should have drunk that whiskey.”

The bottle of water he had discarded was pressed back into his hand. “Drink. Text him. In a few hours, we can see about driving.” 

\------

_ March 2015 _

The moon was high in the sky, stars bright and clear in the dark night sky above him. The neighborhood was quiet, most people asleep already. Jinki leaned back in his chair, legs up on the footrest, cold glass of wine held gently in his palm. Spring break for his kiddos meant that he could drink in the middle of the week when he usually only did so on Saturday night. The air was still a little nippy, the winter breeze not having fully left the city. He tugged his blanket tighter around his shoulders with his free hand with a sigh, eyes shut for a moment. They opened when he heard the squeak from the patio door behind him. “What are you doing, Baby?”

Jinki looked over when the shadow fell over him. “Debating the meaning of life and all, Mom.” 

Getting comfortable in the chair beside him, she chuckled. “You were always such a deep thinker.” 

“I thought I’d be planning my wedding this past year Mom.” The moonlight reflected slightly off the deep purple color of his wine as he gazed into the slightly moving liquid. “Instead I’m living at home again completely alone.”

“Life likes to throw painful curveballs in our paths. Some are unnecessary and shouldn’t happen. Others teach us something. What happened with James had to have taught you something.”

“Yeah if your fiance keeps going to the same shitty live band bar multiple times a week start asking questions.” He sheepishly looked away when he noticed his Mom staring at him. “To trust yourself when you begin having doubts in your relationship.”

“That’s my boy.” She reached over to gently take his hand into hers. “You’re young, smart and handsome. You’ll find love again.” 

He took a big gulp of his wine before placing it on the ground beside him. “What if I said I think I already did?”

“I’d ask who.”

Fingers tapping against his thigh, eyes watching each thumb as he muttered. “Taemin.” 

\------

As Taemin lifted the lid to the trashcan one of his earbuds fell from his ear. Before he could put it back in he overheard Jinki talking about his feelings. He hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, but he explained the guilt away by saying it was just to see how Jinki was doing. He had been worried about the older man for some time now. It was horrible to be cheated on, even worse by someone you had started to really build a life with. If he was falling in love with someone or was even interested, it would decrease the amount of worry Taemin held for him. 

“A little bit louder for me.”

“Taemin.” There was a pause before Jinki concluded. “I think I’m in love with Taemin.”

Oh shit oh shit oh shit. He should leave. He should leave right now and act like he didn’t hear anything, but as much as his mind told him to move his feet just didn’t want to cooperate.

“Oh, Baby.” 

“Don’t look at me like that. I know alright? If I had any control over it, I wouldn’t have let it happen.” 

“Falling in love with your best friend isn’t a bad thing.” 

“It is when he’s with someone. I’d be just as much of a horrible person as the guy James cheated on me with if I told him how I felt right now. It’s not worth it. He’s happy. That’s what matters with people you love. Their happiness. I’ll get over it.”

“You can want Taemin’s happiness and still feel upset that you love him when he’s unavailable. They aren’t completely interchangeable.”

“I feel stupid. Taemin had a crush on me for years and even when he kissed me I didn’t-” Taemin’s heart was beating way too fast, breathing quickening he was starting to fear it would give him away. “He got over it. I can get over this.” 

The blood was rushing too much in Taemin’s ears for him to really catch anything else. He half stumbled to the nearby back step, finding it with his hand as he sat. Jinki loved him? Like currently had feelings for him in a more than friend way? What the hell was he supposed to do with this information? He was with Jimin. Happy and content. He loved Jimin, but Jinki had been wrong when he said that the crush didn’t exist anymore. 

Taemin quickly tossed the trash into the can and rushed up the stairs. Once he was in his bed he fell face first and screamed into his pillow. He really should have taken that trash out earlier like his Dad had asked him to. Then he’d have never overheard what he was not meant to hear and his life would go back to being easy.

\------

_ May 2015 _

Going back to school, Taemin had hoped that it’d be harder to forget the way Jinki had said he loved him or the way his voice sounded so desperate as he said the simple words that held so much meaning. Like many things that had to do with Jinki and feelings, Taemin had been wrong. He tried to focus on Jimin and their relationship through the stresses of finishing his senior year of college, but the guilt he felt when thinking about Jinki made it difficult to do. He felt wrong for thinking about another man like that, but thinking about Jinki made him feel good. The conversations between them didn’t change, their friendship didn’t move from the strong bond they always went back to.

Taemin realized Jimin deserved better than a man confused by his own feelings. Breaking up with him had been difficult. He did love him, and now a month later he knew he’d always remember the man fondly. Jimin was his first serious boyfriend. His first of many things. Taemin hoped that in time he may have his friend back, but until then, he’d give him space. Besides, space to be himself, focus on school and figure out how to untangle his emotions was the best thing for him to do. 

\------

Junghee was sitting in the backseat of the car, foot-tapping to the music playing, and eyes closed as the wind from the open window blew into her face. She had been ecstatic when Taemin invited her to his graduation and even more so when their parents said she could go with Jinki. They couldn’t get out of work, but it had been forever since she and her big brother had done anything just by themselves. “Why didn’t you major in anything cool like Dance?”

Jinki looked at her for a moment through the rearview mirror. “I’m sorry I’m not cool, Pumpkin.”

“I never said that.” She gave a cheeky grin. “You’re probably the coolest teacher at the school.” 

“Love you too.” 

“Play the CD.”

“Are you going to scream and call it singing?”

“If you weren’t driving I’d throw a gummy bear at you.” 

Jinki responded by switching it from radio to the CD in question. Junghee was smiling and that was enough for him.

\------

The first thought that Taemin had seeing Jinki was that he was happy he had come and brought Junghee too. The second was that he was very rude to look that handsome in a simple tucked in button up shirt. The button on the middle of his chest was straining a little and he deemed that illegal in action immediately. He wasn’t sure if the older man would come to his graduation, but had sent the invitation nonetheless. If Jinki could go to his high school one after the whole planting a kiss debacle, he could handle the college one. In his left hand was a small, dark blue gift bag. It was a lot less vibrant than the glitter covered one hanging over Junghee’s hand that wasn’t holding her big brothers. Jinki’s eyes found his first, a big grin on his face as he pointed his sister towards Taemin. 

Before Taemin knew it Junghee was colliding with him, face squished against his chest. If she grew anymore he was going to start a riot. “Hi Tae.”

“Hi, Pretty. Is that for me?”

“Mhmm! I picked it out all by myself.” 

On the bottom of the bag was a rolled-up piece of cloth that with the closer inspection he realized was space pattern leggings. He laughed quietly and kissed the top of her head with how she was still pressed into his side. “Thank you. They’ll do wonders for my auditions coming up.”

Junghee glared at her approaching brother. “I told you he would like them.” 

“I never said he wouldn’t like them, just that he might like a solid color more.” Jinki held his hands up in defense before handing over his own gift bag. “Congratulations Taeter.” 

“Did you get me a matching pair?” He teased as he moved through the tissue paper. He pulled out another piece of clothing and snorted.

Jinki grinned. “A matching crop top.” 

“You’re hilarious.”

“I’m so happy you think so.” 

It was then his Dad interrupted, “Jinki, do you mind taking some pictures for us?”

\------

Jinki lowered the phone after the photo was taken, offering it over quickly to Taemin’s Dad to look at. While the man flipped through the taken pictures, Jinki nudged Taemin in the side. “How does it feel to be a college graduate?” 

“Older. I feel older. And a lot less rich.” 

“We were never rich, Bud.” His Dad quipped, still trying to figure out his phone.

Taemin rolled his eyes before grinning down at Junghee. “Do you want to go get some cheesecake?”

With a frown Jinki quietly asked, “What if I want cheesecake?” 

Junghee sighed as she grabbed Taemin’s closest hand. “Come on. Let’s go get Jinnie some cheesecake. Otherwise, he’ll be sad on the drive home.”

Taemin nodded seriously handing his diploma to his Dad. “And we can’t have that.”

As they disappeared through the crowd, weaving their way toward the food tent, Jinki looked toward Jaeho and his very serious girlfriend, Amelia Chow. He hadn’t known what to think of her at first when he returned home, but she seemed nice enough. She was really accepting of Taemin and the way he was intertwined with his own moms. “Are you happy it’s almost summer?”

He hummed at her question. “A little, but I spend a lot of it looking for discounted decorations and posters for my classroom.” 

“You decorate it differently each year?” Jaeho quietly asked.

“Each year the kids are different and if I can make it better and engaging I try to.”

\------

By the time they arrive home Jinki was ready to sleep for a few hours. He might have done just that if it wasn’t for the small projectiles being tossed at his head. Opening his eyes he found them to be pieces of popcorn, Taemin grinning from the doorway leading toward the front door hallway. “Piss off.” 

Another bonked off his nose and Jinki sighed as Taemin laughed, “Come on. Junghee set up a game of monopoly.” 

“I am not giving up my nap to experience you both cheat at a board game.” 

“Please?” 

Ten minutes and a potty break later Jinki was sitting around the kitchen table sipping a beer and laughing about Taemin not being able to remember how much money everyone got at the start before the bank tray was slid over to him. Like always.

\------

_ August 2015 _

When the news broke in June that same-sex marriage was legal in all 50 states, Jinki had seen his Ma get down on one knee and ask Mom to marry her once again. They had decided to get married thirty years on the dot since the day they met. The small venue a few miles away was rented, decorated with white roses. The aisle was gold, rolled out from the beginning of the rows of chairs to the arch of roses by the alter. Jinki could remember looking at the photos of his parents first wedding as a child very vividly. The poofy dresses and equally big hair. The cake shoved into their faces in the backyard of one of their friends' houses. Only his Mom’s parents had come. This time around both of their parents were waiting on either side of the aisle in the first row.

Jinki held out each of his elbows, grinning from ear to ear as Junghee began to walk down the aisle as a flower girl. At first, she thought she was way too old for such a thing, but she wanted to be apart of the wedding and she got a pretty dress. “You two ready to be legal?” 

Their answers were drowned out by the swell of the music coming from the open doors just ahead to the left. Each hooked an arm around his and allowed him to lead them into the venue. Much of the ceremony Jinki couldn’t recall through the blurriness of the tears he’d refuse existed until his last breath. 

\------

The chairs were pushed aside, tables brought out and the dj began to play music through the speakers. Jinki had shared a dance with each of his parents and his little sister, but he wasn’t much for dancing. Instead, he got one of the little cupcakes from the table and sat at his assigned seat licking the icing from his finger as his foot tapped to the beat. His finger was still between his lips when Taemin stepped between him and the swirling light. “Enjoying yourself?”

He popped his finger out quickly, smacking his mouth trying to finish his icing. “Very much.” 

“Well, put the cake down and come dance with me.” 

“And make a full of myself? Not gonna happen.” 

Taemin took his hand and tugged, forcing him up and out of his seat. “I, as your best friend, demand a dance.”

As they stepped onto the dance floor the music shifted from heavy bass and loud beats to a ballad made for slow dancing. Jinki had one foot off the assigned dancefloor when Taemin tugged him back, other hand falling to his hip. “Come on, Taeter we can wait for another song.” 

“Slow dancing is still dancing.”

Falling into step, shifting their hands to allow Taemin to lead, Jinki relaxed in his hold. It couldn’t be more than some fancy swaying but he was enjoying it all the same. He allowed himself to not feel guilty about that fact. Taemin was no longer dating anyone. Jinki didn’t think he had much of a chance with how pretty and interesting Taemin was, but for one night and one dance he’d allow himself to think that maybe it could happen between them. He laid his head on Taemin’s right shoulder, looking out toward the rest of the dance floor before his eyes fluttered closed.

\------

Taemin was sure Jinki could feel how hard his heart was beating in his chest with how close they were. If the older man noticed the stumble in his steps, he didn’t voice it. When the song ended the two of them detangled themselves slowly. Maybe it was the abundance of love around them or the closeness of him, but all Taemin could think about were the feelings he had for Jinki that hadn’t gone away in almost a decade. “Follow me.” 

With a raised eyebrow Jinki returned the grasp of their hands and allowed him to lead the way. Through the main doors to the right was the room where the brides had gotten changed earlier that afternoon. Taemin locked the door behind him as Jinki tried to find the lightswitch. “I could have sworn it was … aha, there it is.” As the room illuminated the older man turned around to look at him. “So, why have you dragged me into an overzealous closet?” 

All the words and ways he had thought about telling Jinki how he felt over the years vanished. How could someone explain they’ve loved another for so long without sounding creepy? He knew Jinki had loved him months ago but did he still? Taemin closed his eyes and took a deep breath realizing quickly he had to get it off his chest before he combusted. “I love you.”

“You’ve told me that a thousand times. We didn’t need to be in-”

“Jinki, I love you.” Each word felt like it weighed a thousand pounds rolling off his tongue. “I’ve loved you since I was 14.” Time ticked away slowly, Jinki’s hands had fallen loose at his sides, fingers curling and uncurling as he ran his tongue over his lips. His adam’s apple visibly bobbed. Taemin grasped his hands together to stop them from shaking as he pleaded. “Please say something.” 

“I kept getting flashes from the night of your dance showcase of a conversation that I could never remember fully, but that night you admitted the kisses you gave me were because you liked me, didn’t you?” Taemin swallowed thickly but dipped his head just enough in recognition. “Why didn’t you talk to me about your feelings then?”

“You never saw me like that.” 

“I might have.” 

“I wanted to tell you after the airport, but I felt so guilty for kissing you when you were with James and I thought if I ignored it I’d get over it all.”

Jinki threw his hands up in the air, “And where did that get us?” 

“Life is shit sometimes, but maybe we weren’t ready when we were both teenagers to be together or even 17 and 21. We had to grow up, become who we needed to be apart from each other. ” Taemin took a deep breath before closing the distance between them, curling his hands around Jinki’s and bringing them down fully. “I did a lot of stupid shit growing up, but one thing that wasn’t was four year old me misunderstanding what my Dad said about marriage and asking you. I love you. Shouldn’t that be enough to give us a shot?” 

“You seem to be really confident that I love you too.”

He gave a big, nervous smile, “I kind of overheard you talking to your mom back in March.”

“What?”

“I was taking out the trash and- Look that doesn’t matter.” Taemin squeezed Jinki’s fingers gently. “What matters is if you still feel the same way now? So what do you say Jinnie, think you could go on a date with me?” 

“I suppose I can clear a Saturday night for you, Taeter.” 

Taemin had his hand on Jinki’s jaw before he froze. “Is it alright that I kiss you?”

Jinki’s fingers curled in the lapels of Taemin’s jacket, tugging him close enough their breathing swirled between them. “Please do.” 

\------

It wasn’t until the next week that his parents could take the time off to go on a real honeymoon. While Jinki was very happy for them, that also meant that his first real date with Taemin consisted of cooking a meal shared with Junghee and watching a movie on the couch like they had done a million times before. “I’m sorry I’m such a poor date.” 

Taemin looked up from his spot on Jinki’s thigh, grinning. “I’m having the best time. Gotta start slow, right?” 

“I think getting here has been slow enough, Taeter.”

“I suppose you’re right.” 

“C’mere.” Taemin grinned at the deep tone of Jinki’s voice. While they hadn’t had a date before this they had tried to get over the barrier between them when it comes to kissing. It was hard at first for them to get passed the ‘he’s my friend I shouldn’t be doing this mentality’. That being said, they no longer held such reservations and kissing the other felt as it did when they had dated anyone else. 

It was all fine and dandy until they heard a small squeak to the right of them. “What the hell?” 

It was as if something physically pulled them apart with how quickly they separated. Standing there was Junghee, hair up in a messy bun on the top of her head and purple pajamas half dragging on the floor the pants were too big. “Uh, if I said it’s not what it looks like would you believe me, Pumpkin?”

She crossed her arms, slipper softly tapping against the floor as she moved her foot. “Not in the slightest. Spill.” 

“There’s not much to say other than Taemin and I started dating.” 

“Like romantically?” 

Taemin quietly replied, “Yeah.”

Junghee glanced between the two of them a few times before shrugging. “Whatever just don’t let me walk in like that one time I did to Mommies.”

Jinki cleared his throat, cheeks still flushed. “What did you need, Pumpkin?” 

“I heard a strange noise coming from my closet. Could you come and check it out?” Jinki held her hand the entire walk up to her room. Once he checked to make sure there weren’t any monsters in her closet, he tucked her back in and kissed her hair. He was almost to the door when he heard her mumble. “Don’t hurt each other.” 

“Don’t plan on it.” But her soft snores could already be heard.

\------

_ March 2018 _

When Taemin had told him the night before what they were going to do for their date day the following morning, he hadn’t kept his hopes up. He loved Taemin dearly, but sometimes his ideas of romance and wooing didn’t go hand in hand with his own. Especially when said idea consisted them of driving across the city to stand in the backyard of their Mothers’ home right under his old childhood treehouse. He crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head. “If you think I’m getting up there with you, you’re sadly mistaken.”

“Please? We drove all the way over here.” Taemin had one foot on the bottom rung. “Just a few minutes, what harm could it cause?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Jinki rose his brow before continuing. “ It’s a twenty-year-old treehouse and we’re grown-ass men. It could very well fall out of that tree.” 

“Come up with me for five minutes and I’ll do that thing in the bedroom you’ve wanted to try.”

“With the handcuffs?” He quietly asked, mindful that his teenage sister was just inside the house behind them. When Taemin nodded, Jinki sighed. “Fine. But if we die I’m gonna haunt you.”

Taemin was halfway up the ladder as he asked, “Wouldn’t I be dead too?” 

“I’ll find a way.” Jinki had waited until they were both up in the treehouse before replying. The layer of dust on everything almost made him want to sneeze, especially when they both found a seat in an old chair, knees almost to their chest from how small it was. “So why have you tugged me up here? Must be important to bargain with kinky stuff.”

“It is really important. Do you remember what happened twenty years ago?”

Jinki looked around the old wood, trying to recall something that stood out in his memories. “You know I’m getting old.”

“That’s alright because I do.” Taemin took a deep breath, which probably wasn’t a good idea as he began to cough because of all the dust in the air around them. “I asked you to marry me.”

\-----

“It seems you did.”

It was utterly impossible to read Jinki in times like this. He had his ‘I’m a teacher and I know everything’ face on and it was making Taemin’s tummy twist nervously. “Well, I-” 

“Did you bring me across town to reenact how we got engaged as children?” Jinki calmly asked. Too Calmly.

“Possibly.” He hadn’t squeaked. That totally was the treehouse.

“I see.” Jinki hummed, head falling a little on his knees as he hugged them tighter. “Well, I’m ready.”

“But you’ve completely ruined it! It’s supposed to be special and romantic and you always say I’m not romantic or spontaneous enough and then I try and-” Taemin melted a little as Jinki moved close enough to kiss him. “Whoa.” 

“I’m not trying to shut you up, but Baby I’m very proud of your romance attempts I really am,” The smile on Jinki’s face as his gaze lowered to the ring pop resting on Taemin’s palm should have been illegal. “I thought we already were engaged. I seem to have lost my ring.” 

“Wait, this actually worked?”

“Your wife is very pleased.” Jinki chuckled as he cupped Taemin’s cheeks, resting his forehead against the younger man’s. “Completely knocked me off my feet. Well done.” 

They thought about staying there for a few more minutes, intertwined on the dusty floor of a treehouse that really started it all, but it swayed a little too much for their comfort and down they went. Jinki wore that blue raspberry ring pop the entire day until he returned home where Taemin showed him the real one. He slowly took a lick of his candy version, shrugging, “I kind of like the sweetness of this one.”

All those years ago when he met a baby with a faulty off button that looked too much like a Taeter tot, he could have never imagined the same boy would become his entire world. It took them twenty years, but Taemin would never give up the fact he had been onto something when he was four, a candy ring pop, misunderstandings and all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed how I interrupted the prompt. Thank you for reading <3


End file.
